You are wrong.
You are wrong about the NBA.
You have been wrong about everything in the NBA.
You thought the Warriors beat the Cavs in the finals last year.
You were wrong. The Warriors beat the Cavs in the finals last year—**** THE LAKERS.
You thought we acquired Kyrie.
You were wrong. We acquired Kyrie—**** THE LAKERS.
You thought The Lakers didn’t matter—you still think they don’t matter—they have always mattered. **** THE LAKERS.
You will tell me: “but the Sixers are a historical rival, Truth18.”
Correct, but you forget: **** THE LAKERS.
You have seen it on your block. You have heard whispers of it on your streets. It is true, the Celtics have become the Boston Celtics again.
Cast your preseason opinions away! The preseason has never mattered. It is the incandescent jade heart of green that matters. Rip off the electric arms of rumor and throw aside your static veil of doubt! Rage against the fleshy spectre, forever rampaging, bruised and jaundiced, that is the LA basketball media machine! Embrace this year. Remember Red.
Cast aside your false grudges and consider the teams:
Larry Bird choked someone in Philadelphia at some point long ago. They choke in a different way now.
The Raptors are a team with players. A nurse is their head coach. They are quite successful for a young franchise. They do not matter.
The 500,000 dollars per season ticket San Francisco Warriors will pay for their basketball sins, bougie and Boogied.
The Wizards will soon dissolve into their black reflections on the pools of Grunfeldia as the infinite cacophony of the Capital One screams. John Wall will run from his own reflection, a dark Siddartha, eating Vaseline, surrounded by ghosts of Arenas.
Spoiler:
What is a Buck? Who? Where?
Post-Hakeem Rockets are a joke of a franchise that are defined by their underachieving, just like their current stars always were. Morey burns red and grey offerings at altars of Ainge for nothing.
None of them matter. Outside of the Sixers, they never have.
I have heard people on this forum in recent years say that they feel bad for the Lakers. I have seen us create a Kobe appreciation thread. Recently, in the Around the NBA thread, someone said they are jealous of the Lakers. Jealous of the **** Lakers. Someone else wished them well on the season in the interest of the Warriors suffering. We have lost the plot.
It is in fact the opposite. The Lakers have always been jealous of us. They have the media. They have the fair-weather fans. They have the logo. They have a **** ton of cash. They have the heat and glamour of the Los Angles area to attract players. But they will always be second best. Sixteen or twelve (it’s twelve), however you want to count it, they will not surpass us or our legacy. They know this too, you can see their insecurity present in everyone from their casual fans to Jeanie.
We have the cold. ****, in New England, we ARE the cold. We don’t want glamour. We don’t want media attention (at least I don’t). We are not showtime. We fight showtime. We don’t get burnt. The treasure is in glaciers of ice.
Spoiler:
This photo should fill you with primal rage. Does it? Do you hate the Lakers enough? Do you know the enemy? Are you ready to be the Boston Celtics again?
Spoiler:
We are about to destroy this league. This year, next year and the year after that. Be afraid if you want. Take things slow if you want. Don’t hate the Lakers if you want.
Everyone is wrong sometimes.
Spoiler:
