A modest proposal to save our season...nay, our very franchise

[Schad]

viewtopic.php?f=40&t=1377563

Please lend support above on this matter of great urgency.

[rarefind]

I nominate qwikdraw.

[Santoki]

I second that.

[Schad]

Quikdraw may have pull with the God of Bizarre Injuries, but what of the God of Run-Of-The-Mill Injuries, to say nothing of the various Gods of On-Field Performance.

[s e n s i]

schad, i think this idea is as stellar as they come, and that thread is **** hilarious.

however, with the season a mere 25 days away, i think what's of equal importance is how we are going to author the series threads this season. perhaps a thread or even sticky to determine the best course of action for that i think should also be prioritized

last season was a train-wreck of sorts there. BLC was love and BLC was life for a couple of weeks but then we had lurkers authoring threads and then the season went to sh*t. a strict system for this is required imo

[Randle McMurphy]

In a way, I'm just as culpable as qwikdraw. It wasn't on this forum, but I sent a DM to another Jays fan that morning saying that I hated spring training because it's just 40 days of time for the players to get hurt and ruin the season before it even begins. The Stroman news came out a few hours later.

[torontoaces04]

Randle, or Qwikdraw. Either works, or both.

...or Waylon.

[uniballer]

Qwikdraw has to go. It should be know that if the baseball gods see any type of optimism by a BlueJays fan they will strike with cruel and unusual punishment.

Him or throw BLC (SORRY) Under the bus. The gods turned on him and his amazing game threads quick last year.

[Michael Bradley]

I agree with the banning, or sacrifice, of qwikdraw. That was some voodoo level jinxing he did on Stroman. The Gods don't care if your intentions are pure or not.

I think posting a positive thread in general should be banned, unless it's tongue in cheek or followed up by a negative statement to override the positive (i.e. "Look at this great article on Stroman.....too bad he's a Jay and will ultimately disappoint us"). I try to be overly critical in game threads to appease the Gods, but I think people caught on, and it stopped working as much. Positivity and Toronto sports just do not work together.

[satyr9]

I believe our excessive worship and attention of Monsieur BABIP has become a serious problem. While it helped for a while, we have now incurred the wrath of a much larger and monumentally more powerful totem, Our Lord and Saviour of Tendons and Ligaments, praise be. Until we begin to recognize our failures and begin the path of reconciliations with OLSTL we will never be redeemed.

Furthermore, we must forevermore banish all books, articles, blogs, journals, videos, podcasts, and telegraphs as they relate to Roy Halladay comps. There can be no doubt whatsoever that invoking the Holy Halladay on this board caused Stroman's injury, of that we can be entirely certain. It is our duty as fans of the Jays to do our best not to have divine retribution wrote upon our idols because of our failings as obedient servants of the Gods. Each one of us must promise to do better or we will be forever lost.

[tecumseh18]

Fools!

You're all such fools. Here's the thing. The gods - baseball or otherwise - are totally random. They don't care about your burnt offerings or banned posters. They don't care about your positivity or negativity. Look at the Raptor board now - is that helping the team?

Can't you see? The gods are out to f with you. They took psychology courses in university that told them that a mouse in a Skinner box will press the bar the most frequently when subject to a completely random reinforcement schedule. In fact, the mice don't have to press the bar at all to get the food pellet, but their puny brains can't handle that. They want to believe in cause and effect, that they have some control over the universe. They don't. And we don't.

But by all means, carry on with your arbitrary sacrificial rituals. At least it's entertaining.

[spykelee]

Maybe we need to embrace qwikdraw. He's tapped into something, at least. Just need to find a way to get the mojo going in the right direction.

I vote we string him up, naked of course, and force him to watch endless repeats of the KO Raptors era. Only the Leo games.

[satyr9]

Fools!

You're all such fools. Here's the thing. The gods - baseball or otherwise - are totally random. They don't care about your burnt offerings or banned posters. They don't care about your positivity or negativity. Look at the Raptor board now - is that helping the team?

Can't you see? The gods are out to f with you. They took psychology courses in university that told them that a mouse in a Skinner box will press the bar the most frequently when subject to a completely random reinforcement schedule. In fact, they don't have to press the bar at all to get the food pellet, but their puny brains can't handle that. They want to believe in cause and effect, that they have some control over the universe. They don't. And we don't.

But by all means, carry on with your arbitrary sacrificial rituals. At least it's entertaining.

BURN THE WITCH!!!!!!

[BigLeagueChew]

Qwikdraw has to go. It should be know that if the baseball gods see any type of optimism by a BlueJays fan they will strike with cruel and unusual punishment.

Him or throw BLC (SORRY) Under the bus. The gods turned on him and his amazing game threads quick last year.

I'd gladly take a forum ban if we were to make the playoffs. How dare you though.

[s e n s i]

i would volunteer for a temp ban to start the season and agree to staying banned if we chug along at a pace worthy of a playoff spot. i'd probably end up getting banned anyhow if we turn in another mediocre season so what the hell

[Waylon Mercy]

Randle, or Qwikdraw. Either works, or both.

...or Waylon.

Fortunately I voluntarily left a few weeks back after the last blow up for my own sanity but one of my last
messages if not my very last was that the fans are bad karma for this franchise both on the internet and
the unruly ones at the stadium.

[Schad]

Being plagued by capricious gods genuinely makes more sense than that.

[SharoneWright]

Is there a way to find out if Wilner posts on this forum?

[satyr9]

Being plagued by capricious gods genuinely makes more sense than that.

Now you're just being prejudiced against other religions.

What he's saying is that we should be focused on the long-term. When the franchise reincarnates as a Geranium, it's going to pay for all that bad Karma brought on by us, the fans. It really is going to have a rough go with drought and infestation. And it's all our fault. Again.

And the time after that, when the franchise awakens as part of an inert cloud of neon gas in the Horseshoe Nebula, that's when things are going to get truly horrific. The karmic repercussions of our inability to think about Baseball the way he feels about Baseball will have dire consequences for several future lifetimes of the Toronto Blue Jays franchise's soul/consciousness/spirit.

[Fairview4Life]

Stop attacking him just because he has a different opinion!

Waylon is voluntarily sacrificing himself for our sins. Worship at the altar of Waylon!