O/T: Bill Simmons' rebuttal to Utah hate mail

[GP]

"I. My brewing feud with Jazz fans. Because I keep dismissing the Chris Paul-Deron Williams "rivalry" and wrote last week that Paul was the Pearl Jam to Williams' Stone Temple Pilots, that earned me a steady stream of hate mail from Utah and an extended rip in something called the Deseret News. Look, people of Utah -- you ruined the 2002 Olympics because nobody could buy a stiff drunk or a beer that had a real level of alcohol, and I think "Last Call" was 8:30 at night. As my friend Jacoby jokes, "Each brewery around the world has to brew and bottle special low alcohol beer solely because Utah hates fun." It's true. The only reason we still put up with you is the skiing. I'd keep it down."

lol, even though I disagree with CP being a lot better than DW, the rest of his rant about Utah is gold.

[gojazzgo]

Gold? More like old, tired, and hardly factual.

[edfmx86]

i bet Ric Bucher thinks he's off the hook now

[gojazzgo]

Of course, he couldn't think of anything, so he went to the old standard utah insults. Nothing real new there.

[The Sheik]

Who cares? Anyone that thinks Bill Simmons is a real sports writer has issues. They guy is just an over gloried fan that writes a blog...like his opinion matters. If Magic or a current player said something to this effect then I would be upset, not The Sports dud. Everything Bill Simmons writes is a joke (and I mean in the haha funny kind of way) he of all people has the least bit of credibility when it comes to basketball.

[BarneyGumble]

I read this article earlier. It was a pathetic display of ignorance. Interesting how the uniformed are usually also the dumbest.........

[ColdBlue]

Utah liquor laws are pretty lame, but so is Bill simmons.

[jazz__stoner]

Seriously who cares. Bill Simmons is an idiot and his job is to cover the larger markets so he knows nothing about Utah nor the Jazz.

[DelaneyRudd]

If anyone from Utah wants to get liquored up and call Bill Simmons I have his home phone number and his personal email address (lame ass still uses AOL).

[carrottop12]

There is a reason this guy is on "Page 2."

[xstockholmsyndromex]

Bill Simmons is a joke. Im sorry, but if you base an Olympics success on how much alcohol you could get, and how smashed you and your buddies can get, then Im sorry...you have zero credibility with me. How some of these "sports writers/experts" have jobs is beyond me....and it just seems that ESPN has quite a few more of these idiots.

I would love to see him come up with something original about Utah....his insults are tired and old.


Delany....Ill take that home number, I'd like to give him a call.

[JDubJazz]

Its a HUMOR column. What do you expect? The reason this state gets mocked so often, is because we still haven't learned to laugh at ourselves. Just take his column for what it is; a humorous take on sports and pop culture.

[shrink]

Its a HUMOR column. What do you expect? The reason this state gets mocked so often, is because we still haven't learned to laugh at ourselves. Just take his column for what it is; a humorous take on sports and pop culture.

Ditto. Utah is one of my favorite places to go, but he's just playing here -- don't take offense.

[JOOZER]

Dear Bill-

10-15 years from now I am going to remind you of this: "Paul has a chance to go down as one of the best 25 players ever". C'mon Bill, really? You beleive that?
I dont know where you and I are going to be 12 years from now but I know where Chris Paul will be and thats on the scrap heap with Penny Hardaway and if he is lucky he will find his way onto the "what could have been shelf" with Grant Hill.
I know you watch a lot of (Clippers) B-ball and consider yourself an expert but you gotta pull your head out.

P.S. Watch the next game that Paul and Williams sqaure off. It should help you get through this whole embarrassing episode of man crush.

[HammerDunk]

Hey, IMO, the more bad pub we get the better. This state is already populated enough, we don't need any glowing endorsements from such huge superstars as simmons or bucher, thank you very much. Let's keep serving the ski bunnies the watered down beer. Let them spend their money and run, I have no problem with that!

As far as I'm concerned,
Eddie Vedder = hopeless Cubs fan who writes lots of boring music and has a lot of grammy nominations.
Scott Weiland = Notre Dame fan (but knows better than to write a song begging for them to win) who has been in 2 grammy award WINNING bands (stone temple pilots included) that writes less music, but it is much more interesting.

It was actually a pretty interesting comparison he unknowingly made. Pearl Jam and New Orleans have a lot in common. They have more fans than STP or the Jazz. They are considered to be better, but actually aren't nearly as exciting. They will be a very good team who is always nominated by some to be a winner, but might never win it all. The Jazz are a proven contender that are on the verge of breaking through to WIN their award. I like the comparison!

[Devilzsidewalk]

you should've heard him on his podcast today, he was talking about your moms and questioning your sexual orientation and stuff, it was really ugly

[HammerDunk]

you should've heard him on his podcast today, he was talking about your moms and questioning your sexual orientation and stuff, it was really ugly

People actually listen to his podcast???

[DelaneyRudd]

I remember him talking bad about Houston and Jacksonville. He basically hates anywhere where that isn't 12 months of Spring Break.

[JStockLivesOn]

Deron = Springsteen
Paul = John Mellencamp

You might not have realized that the Boss was 40 times better in the 80s, but it's pretty clear now.

(Before 2poor wanders in here, that's a hyperbolic joke).

[erudite23]

I have to say, I am a HUUUUYYYYUUUGEEEE Sports Guy fan. I haven't missed a column or a podcast of his in the last 3+ years, and I think he is basically a comedic genius. The guy just knows what funny is and can really nail a joke.

With that said, his opinion is pretty close to useless. The guy is a fan, so he always sees through a fans rose colored glasses, if you will. Sometimes what he says can be fairly enlightening. He will put things in a way that makes you think and see things differently. Then he will take that premise, and draw a completely and utterly assinine conclusion that has almost no correlation with the original thought.

Just a quick sum-up of previous declarations he's made about specific NBA players:

28. Kirk Hinrich
The poor man's Nash. We might have to ask the president to step in and demand that Hinrich plays in the 2008 Olympics. It's for the good of the country.
-2006 Top 40 Trade Value Column

32. Larry Hughes
Everyone keeps talking about Redd and Allen this summer – why doesn't anyone mention Hughes? He's only 26, gives you a 22-6-5 every night, plays three positions, defends well enough that he made the 2005 All-Defensive team, never does anything beyond his means, and he even supplants Troy O'Leary as the "best black athlete with a name that makes him sound like he should be bouncing at Sully's Pub." Other than some durability issues, what am I missing here?
-2005 Top 40 Trade Value Column

27. Kenyon Martin
Using the same question from the Vince paragraph, could the self-proclaimed "Bad Ass Yellow Boy" have survived/thrived in that Pistons-Spurs series? And the answer, obviously, is "yes."
- 2005 Top 40 Trade Value Column

16. Emeka Okafor
Fantastic rookie season capped off by an unexpected shattering of the Unintentional Comedy Scale on "The Rookies," when he told the camera (in all seriousness) that he was reading a book about hermaphrodites, adding, "Hermaphrodites are people with male and female gena- um, genitalia," as one of his posse members recoiled in horror. Other than watching my daughter trying to poop and ending up making the "Shaq trying to shoot free throws at the end of a game" face, that was the highlight of my summer so far.
- 2005 Top 40 Trade Value Column

Marquis Daniels NR
Only because he's cracking the Top 40 next season. Mark my words. Since he went undrafted last year -- which seems impossible in the same draft that gave us Reece Gaines at No. 15 -- he's actually a free agent this summer. Not that "The Benefactor" wouldn't match any offer, but still.
- 2004 Top 40 Trade Value Column

Yes, that Marquis Daniels. I mean, I could go on all day, but the dude is famous for waffling and being wrong on his bold predictions. He even has a patented line when someone brings up a quote of his from the past: "The lesson, as always: I'm an idiot."

So, no, he shouldn't be taken seriously. This is the same guy who swore up and down that the Houston Rockets would never live down taking Yao Ming ahead of Jay Williams. That Yao would be a the next Shawn Bradley, and that JW would be the next JKidd. Then, when he is proven wrong, he flips the script and pretends like he was always right--and not just that, but that the point in question is so OBVIOUS that he could never have been wrong in the first place.

If DW goes up another notch this year and CP slightly regresses (though he would still be amazing), to the point that Deron is clearly held in higher esteem league-wide, the SG will immediately begin talking as if he was Deron's BFF and gushing over his abilities like a proud dad at a little league football game.

Still, he fills his role. The guy writes, hands down, the most entertaining column out there--to my knowledge--and I would continue to read him even if he said that Deron isn't as good as Jason Hart.


Ok...maybe not that far, but still.