Life

[montestewart]

I’m so sorry for your loss, dobro.

[long suffrin' boulez fan]

I’m so sorry Dobro. Nothing we can say to ease the pain, but we’re here for you brother.

[barelyawake]

So I had a rather shocking evening last night.

While I was upstairs participating in a virtual (zoom) open mic, the county police knocked on
my door. They were looking for my brother's next of kin. I was informed he had been discovered
deceased in his condo, dead for an undetermined amount of time. He just had a birthday 8/1
and I had texted him but without reply which wasn't completely unusual for him but I had gotten
him a shirt which I just got sent off in the mail yesterday. I'm in shock but not terribly surprised because
he was not in good health. Of course the news of this arrived suddenly and strongly.
I now have a lot of things to deal with and at somewhat long distance as he lived in
Longmont CO (I-25 corridor N of Denver). The longer you live, the more you have to
deal with as a result of your contemporaries dying ahead of you.

Safe home to your brother and sorry to hear.

[payitforward]

That's hard, dobrojim -- my condolences to you & your family on a very sad loss. May your brother's name be remembered for a blessing.

[dobrojim]

I started to And1 the replies but instead will just say thanks to all for your kind thoughts and words

on an intellectual level, it wasn't a huge surprise. Of course that still leaves the emotional level.
Speaking with a old friend yesterday, he mentioned that in his experience and training,
he has learned or concluded there is no standard or set time schedule for the grieving process.
It'll happen at whatever pace it happens (posted for anyone else who is or will be going through
a similar situation. IOW, all of us)

[dobrojim]

One bit of advice to all, create a "death book" that has as much of the information
you can think of that will help those tasked with the aftermath of your demise.
Make it 'findable' among your effects. Those who come after you will appreciate it
greatly. Bank accounts and other financial accounts. Passwords....

[dobrojim]

Helped my son move to Richmond (actually Henrico).
He’ll be beginning a Masters Program in Sports Leadership
next week. Really happy for him pursuing his passion.
When he first told me the program he was choosing, I
was quietly skeptical but VCU advertises a 93% placement rate.
And it’s compressed into a single year of school. Bravo.

[Scabs304]

Wow just wrote a long message about death and lost…. All disappeared just like the loved ones have around me as the not so child like member of the board now a days.

[pancakes3]

Wow just wrote a long message about death and lost…. All disappeared just like the loved ones have around me as the not so child like member of the board now a days.

wanna talk about it?

[Scabs304]

I am sorry

I am angry and I am mad
Feelings so far away from sad
Death comes for us all
God takes what is needed
But I am upset about the fall
Much work never seeded
Words could never be heeded
The smiles rarely glimpsed
I am upset I never pleaded
I left over egotistical ways.
I am mad at god
Not giving me the need to plod
Take my words being unheard
Humble me to take the sword
Cuts from what is always stronger
Made me push forward and try longer
I am angry that they never listen
That my words felt like they had fallen
To nothingness and meaningless
Then my actions made it true none the less
Once again my hubris shows
I has bled through everything I’ve wrote
These words begin to bloat
I am angry that i can not separate my emotions
I am mad instead of sad during this devotion
Clinging to what more I could of done
Instead of celebrating the life that was run
The distance made was real
I put it there and missed the feel.
Missed being part of the final stories
Push away from all my worries
I am mad because My actions were not enough
I am angry because god has the stuff
Not willing to give it unless taking away
I am sad cause he couldn’t let her stay.

[Scabs304]

I am sorry

I am angry and I am mad
Feelings so far away from sad
Death comes for us all
God takes what is needed
But I am upset about the fall
Much work never seeded
Words could never be heeded
The smiles rarely glimpsed
I am upset I never pleaded
I left over egotistical ways.
I am mad at god
Not giving me the need to plod
Take my words being unheard
Humble me to take the sword
Cuts from what is always stronger
Made me push forward and try longer
I am angry that they never listen
That my words felt like they had fallen
To nothingness and meaningless
Then my actions made it true none the less
Once again my hubris shows
I has bled through everything I’ve wrote
These words begin to bloat
I am angry that i can not separate my emotions
I am mad instead of sad during this devotion
Clinging to what more I could of done
Instead of celebrating the life that was run
The distance made was real
I put it there and missed the feel.
Missed being part of the final stories
Push away from all my worries
I am mad because My actions were not enough
I am angry because god has the stuff
Not willing to give it unless taking away
I am sad cause he couldn’t let her stay.

That was three years ago. The long message I wrote here was a all encompassing message of those that I have lost since I became a member of the Wizards forum. How death has come and gone and never seems as far away as it is. This last one feels like yesterday….

[doclinkin]

I am sorry

I am angry and I am mad
Feelings so far away from sad
Death comes for us all
God takes what is needed
But I am upset about the fall
Much work never seeded
Words could never be heeded
The smiles rarely glimpsed
I am upset I never pleaded
I left over egotistical ways.
I am mad at god
Not giving me the need to plod
Take my words being unheard
Humble me to take the sword
Cuts from what is always stronger
Made me push forward and try longer
I am angry that they never listen
That my words felt like they had fallen
To nothingness and meaningless
Then my actions made it true none the less
Once again my hubris shows
I has bled through everything I’ve wrote
These words begin to bloat
I am angry that i can not separate my emotions
I am mad instead of sad during this devotion
Clinging to what more I could of done
Instead of celebrating the life that was run
The distance made was real
I put it there and missed the feel.
Missed being part of the final stories
Push away from all my worries
I am mad because My actions were not enough
I am angry because god has the stuff
Not willing to give it unless taking away
I am sad cause he couldn’t let her stay.

Dropped a copy in the Poetry thread.

[dobrojim]

Writing from Loveland CO where I traveled Wednesday to begin to attend
to my late brother’s affair. I now find myself spending my 4th night in a hospital
in Loveland. I had ventricular tachycardia ie a heart attack of sorts.
On Wednesday I hope to have my pacemaker extracted and replaced with a
dual function device, pacemaker and defibrillator. Hospitals are so much fun.
Seriously though, this happened in the right place. My team here is awesome.
Very grateful.

[montestewart]

Writing from Loveland CO where I traveled Wednesday to begin to attend
to my late brother’s affair. I now find myself spending my 4th night in a hospital
in Loveland. I had ventricular tachycardia ie a heart attack of sorts.
On Wednesday I hope to have my pacemaker extracted and replaced with a
dual function device, pacemaker and defibrillator. Hospitals are so much fun.
Seriously though, this happened in the right place. My team here is awesome.
Very grateful.

Wow Jim, life sure is coming at you. Get well soon, my friend.

[payitforward]

Holy moly, Jim...! Hang in there, brother.

[AFM]

Good luck jim!!

[long suffrin' boulez fan]

Writing from Loveland CO where I traveled Wednesday to begin to attend
to my late brother’s affair. I now find myself spending my 4th night in a hospital
in Loveland. I had ventricular tachycardia ie a heart attack of sorts.
On Wednesday I hope to have my pacemaker extracted and replaced with a
dual function device, pacemaker and defibrillator. Hospitals are so much fun.
Seriously though, this happened in the right place. My team here is awesome.
Very grateful.

Keeping you close in our hearts friend. Hang in there.

[badinage]

Jim, I’m very sorry to hear this. What a scary moment. And what terrible timing. But I’m glad you’re getting such good care, and I’m glad you’re able to write to us.

I wish you strength to endure this moment, and peace to keep you calm and focused.

[Kanyewest]

Hope you get better soon. From personal experience being in the hospital is pretty monotonous and frustrating (I once had to spend 2 weeks there several years ago but I'm fully recovered) not to mention whatever pain you are dealing with it.

[dobrojim]

Thanks again to all

Hospitals are boring AF.

With any luck, tomorrow will be my last night in the hospital.