New Idea for NBA 2k25: Beast-Ball (Beastsketball) (NSFW?)

bballfan1three3 · Post #1 » by **bballfan1three3** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 12:47 pm

I was on the toilet the other day when I had a brilliant idea for a 'sci-fi' themed game mode for next 2k game- BeastBall (Beastsketball?)

Imagine a different Earth - mankind has fallen. Wild beasts run amok, and have sized control of America's heartland. Boar and snakes alike run amok, having evolved a primitive intelligence l, devouring any they can. Yet the NBA continues on, in spite of all this- schedules must be kept, contracts honored.

Washington, D.C. has fallen to the beasts, mostly wild boar, and they demand sacrifice - they have developed a penchant for professional basketball, and have constructed beastlike arenas in which humans fight and dribble to the death for their entertainment...

The game will be exactly like regular basketball, except it is starting 5 only.

The beasts, demand tribute .. 500 pounds of meat, per team, by halftime.There is no rule saying 5 men must be on the court, obviously, but the game remains the same.

In such a scenario what team would emerge at the top? I would think a team with a big 300+ pound center and a disposable wing would work. Then just play with 3 people. I don't think any team has 2 guards who add up to 500 pounds on their own, would probably have to have a guard/center combo be sacrificed. Maybe 2 centers or a PF/center and play 3 wings out? Not sure if modern analytics would cover this scenario, or be helpful...

Of course there is also the political angle. Would they sacrifice the best players, or the least popular? What team would cave under the pressure of knowing their worst player will be sacrificed at half-time?

The game would of course have a 'beast like' audience, consisting of boar, snakes, large insects, some of which will be dressed in the clothing of their former masters. To set the tone.

Who would win?

Ruma85 · Post #2 » by **Ruma85** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 1:43 pm

Yeah...., this is never happening.

3toheadmelo · Post #3 » by **3toheadmelo** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 1:44 pm

BarbaGrizz · Post #4 » by **BarbaGrizz** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 1:52 pm

Peak offseason

Karate Diop · Post #5 » by **Karate Diop** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 1:53 pm

Not going to lie... I never thought of this idea before...

Phreak50 · Post #6 » by **Phreak50** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 1:59 pm

viewtopic.php?t=886428

God Squad · Post #7 » by **God Squad** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 2:16 pm

Meeksology · Post #8 » by **Meeksology** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 2:16 pm

Phreak50 wrote:viewtopic.php?t=886428

For all the relative newcomers on realgm. Please. I suggest you take some time, click on this link and read one of the GOAT threads ever created on this forum. Realgm classic. Assfault!!!

Michael Jordan · Post #9 » by **Michael Jordan** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 2:27 pm

It sounds like it would have to be a game of its own rather than a feature in 2K.

Also it sounds a lot like the Spacejam movie

bballfan1three3 · Post #10 » by **bballfan1three3** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 2:53 pm

Michael Jordan wrote:It sounds like it would have to be a game of its own rather than a feature in 2K.

Also it sounds a lot like the Spacejam movie

Hmm... I don't remember any scenes where players were devoured by animals.. Will have to rewatch tonight...

bballfan1three3 · Post #11 » by **bballfan1three3** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 3:22 pm

I specifically said now so that none of the truly giant ancient players could be included... Shaq, Ralph...

BeastBall is about sacrifice, about having to make the ultimate choice... Do I run PG-SF-PF or PG-SG-C?

I dont see any two man lineups working. Nba Players are too good at offense, it would be a constant fast break.

bballfan1three3 · Post #12 » by **bballfan1three3** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 3:46 pm

Breakdown of the top teams:

The pretenders:
Miami Heat- sorry Heat Culture. Just about the worst possible strat. Depending on lineup, the Heat may have to offer FOUR players to appease the creatures. Not viable
LAL- LeBron is not losing shine to Austin Reaves. Lebron+AD not viable vs 3 guards
Nuggets- Jokic unfortunately has to go. No lineup can hit 500 without his heftiness.

The contenders:
Celtics-many solid 3 person lineups now that they have Zingis
MEM- Ja+Bane is good. SA+Clarke should be enough mass

The OP: any team with Boban

therealbig3 · Post #13 » by **therealbig3** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 3:58 pm

Kinda obvious this is trying too hard to be one of those classic RealGM meme threads...not doing it for me.

Ssj16 · Post #14 » by **Ssj16** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 4:43 pm

Karate Diop wrote:Not going to lie... I never thought of this idea before...

I legit lol'd at this comment

theforumblue · Post #15 » by **theforumblue** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 4:51 pm

so it's basically turning nba into Big 3 by attrition?

TroubleS0me · Post #16 » by **TroubleS0me** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 4:52 pm

yea we need the nba to start

ChaseDown · Post #17 » by **ChaseDown** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 5:52 pm

Yeah … how about we actually get Charles, Reggie & Brandon Roy back in there first before implementing ridiculous modes

MakeItSplash · Post #18 » by **MakeItSplash** » Thu Aug 24, 2023 7:04 pm

I thought this was going to be some rendition of Altered Beast.

bballfan1three3 · Post #19 » by **bballfan1three3** » Sat Aug 26, 2023 4:15 am

theforumblue wrote:so it's basically turning nba into Big 3 by attrition?

Beast 3

bballfan1three3 · Post #20 » by **bballfan1three3** » Sat Aug 26, 2023 4:23 am

MakeItSplash wrote:I thought this was going to be some rendition of Altered Beast.

Altered Beasts