Life

9 and 20 · Post #81 » by **9 and 20** » Wed Aug 23, 2023 11:43 am

I don't know you man but I wish you all the best. Life is fragile. I'm pulling for you.

dobrojim · Post #82 » by **dobrojim** » Tue Aug 29, 2023 2:54 am

I finally had the procedure to remove my previous pacemaker and replace it
with a new combination device, pacemaker and defibrillator. The procedure
was successful!!! I flew home Friday and am now returning to the job of
my bro's Estate.

Thanks to all for having my back. Needless to say it feels good to be
home and even better to not be in a Hospital. But it's also true that
I got outstanding care from highly competent and compassionate
professionals. Hug a a nurse or your Doctor or at least applaud
them for the work they do.

Here's my guy, Russell Heath. It doesn't come through that well in the
picture, but he has a beautiful smile. And he knows his ish. If you're
in need of care someday, I hope you find a doctor as good as him.

https://www.uchealth.org/provider/russell-r-heath-md-clinical-cardiac-electrophysiology/

AFM · Post #83 » by **AFM** » Tue Aug 29, 2023 5:04 am

my mans jim an android

ROBOJIM

dobrojim · Post #84 » by **dobrojim** » Tue Aug 29, 2023 2:25 pm

frosting on the cake for a completely suck August

A dear friend's most recent Caring Bridge post (below)

and he's a couple years younger than me which just goes under the heading
of Life Ain't Fair

The reality is you bury your friends or they bury you.
The silver lining in this dark cloud is that he retired about a year before I did
after noticing that too many folks in his age-cohort were beginning to have health
issues. In the 6 or so years he's been retired, he has done a lot of traveling all over
the world. He has lived a rich and full, if too short, life.

This isn't really an update on my condition. I try to limit what I write in this blog to just updates about my cancer treatment journey. But I came across a Washington Post article this morning that captures some of my own thoughts about being on this journey and I wanted to share it:
I am dying at age 49. Here’s why I have no regrets.

The author has a terminal cancer, and while she regrets that she will pass young, she doesn't regret how she has lived her life. And that's how I feel. I feel very lucky to have lived a happy, exploring, adventurous life and would not change my life's path, nor the choices I've made living it. I've had a fulfilling existence.

Knowing that my life may end sooner than expected has allowed me to reflect on what is most important in life, and this quote from the article sums it up nicely:
"I’ve learned that life is all about a series of moments, and I plan to spend as much remaining time as I can savoring each one, surrounded by the beauty of nature and my family and friends. Thankfully, this is the way I’ve always tried to live my life."

Jessica and I head to Pittsburgh on Tuesday for doctor visits and an MRI scan. I'll update sometime after Thursday when we leave there.

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate your encouragement.

dobrojim · Post #85 » by **dobrojim** » Wed Sep 6, 2023 7:39 am

The next post from this same friend was considerably more encouraging. But
he's probably not out of the woods.

On a separate note - Managing the disposition of my brother's estate is complicated
or maybe it's not. IDK. Hold an estate sale, give away whatever doesn't sell.

It does cause one to look in the mirror and think about what you yourself will
leave behind for others (your kids?) to deal with.

gambitx777 · Post #86 » by **gambitx777** » Tue Sep 19, 2023 1:36 pm

Been having a lot of lady trouble lately.

Lessons I'm learning.
- if they don't wanna be around don't try to keep them around.
- if they tell you who they are listen.
-dont raise your blood pressure on someone who doesn't even notice if you don't text them good morning!

Any sage relationship advice from the RGM Wizards gang?

Sent from my SM-G991U1 using RealGM mobile app

dobrojim · Post #87 » by **dobrojim** » Wed Sep 20, 2023 12:36 pm

Relationships are hard (duh). If you want them to work out, you can't invest
halfheartedly (not making accusations here). That said, you have to be brutally
honest with yourself (it sounds like you are) and invest wisely. It's really painful when you
reach a point where you suspect or conclude that your prior efforts
are not going to work out. Accept and control the things that you
have the possibility to influence. Don't delude yourself or punish
yourself either, for past mistakes made in good faith or for things
that now appear to be beyond your ability to influence in the direction
you had once hoped for.

What signs did you miss from the other person? Were you consistently
honest with yourself about the things on either side of the "is this
going to work out" question? This is a very hard thing. Learn and apply
what you have learned going forward. Remember to be kind to yourself
and to others, even those who may have acted in bad faith. It won't help
you or them to do otherwise.

Good luck.

payitforward · Post #88 » by **payitforward** » Wed Sep 20, 2023 12:46 pm

Some very good advice there, gamby....

AFM · Post #89 » by **AFM** » Thu Sep 21, 2023 2:33 am

Thanks Jim. I actually screen shotted that and saved it to look at whenever I need advice myself...

dobrojim · Post #90 » by **dobrojim** » Thu Sep 21, 2023 5:04 am

I'm very lucky to be married to the woman I am married to (33 years).
My first attempt was ill advised. My current wife, in contrast
to the first one, has taught me a ton by being a great example
herself. And to continue that thought, she was/is a great parent
to our 2 kids (26 and almost 28) which resulted in my kids
also being great positive influences on me. I have often
said that a big surprise about becoming a parent is how
much you learn from your kids (assuming you're paying attention).
You know and expect that you will be teaching them a lot.
You don't realize how much they will teach you until later.

gambitx777 · Post #91 » by **gambitx777** » Fri Sep 22, 2023 12:59 am

I think I just make my fair share of bad choices. A costume designer with dreams of Broadway, a slutty school teacher who was too immature, a witch, another witch, a psycho poly leaning therapist, a few nurses, a couple phlebotomist and a nice young gal who had just gotten out of prison, to name a few.

I've lived a life but I never seem to catch a break with love. My youth is littered with bad choices. People I shouldn't have dated, people I should have let go sooner, people I shouldn't have let go of at all, people that haunt me.

I don't go out much anymore. I'm not as social as I use to be. Lately I've just had no luck at all on the dating scene. Mostly it's people who wanna hook up or girls that just end up not interested. I can't tell you how many times I'll be talking to a girl to get a text saying she isn't interested just for her to be dating some dude with post Malone tattoos, a few assault charges, for baby mommas and his meth dealer on speed dial. It's maddening.

I'm just trying to figure out my path forward when I'm afraid I'm made my way to far down a lonely road with not way back.

Sent from my SM-G991U1 using RealGM mobile app

dobrojim · Post #92 » by **dobrojim** » Fri Sep 22, 2023 12:05 pm

It’s been a long time since I have had to think about this but the idea of dating
seems very difficult and challenging in these times. If I were faced with this,
I might want to try social scenes based on something you enjoy and then exercise
patience. Sometimes we find things when we stop looking.

AFM · Post #93 » by **AFM** » Fri Sep 22, 2023 1:09 pm

It's not nearly as difficult as being a Wizards fan. Keep your head up amigo

doclinkin · Post #94 » by **doclinkin** » Fri Sep 22, 2023 1:13 pm

gambitx777 wrote:I think I just make my fair share of bad choices. A costume designer with dreams of Broadway, a slutty school teacher who was too immature, a witch, another witch, a psycho poly leaning therapist, a few nurses, a couple phlebotomist and a nice young gal who had just gotten out of prison, to name a few.

I've lived a life but I never seem to catch a break with love. My youth is littered with bad choices. People I shouldn't have dated, people I should have let go sooner, people I shouldn't have let go of at all, people that haunt me.

I don't go out much anymore. I'm not as social as I use to be. Lately I've just had no luck at all on the dating scene. Mostly it's people who wanna hook up or girls that just end up not interested. I can't tell you how many times I'll be talking to a girl to get a text saying she isn't interested just for her to be dating some dude with post Malone tattoos, a few assault charges, for baby mommas and his meth dealer on speed dial. It's maddening.

I'm just trying to figure out my path forward when I'm afraid I'm made my way to far down a lonely road with not way back.

On the flip side, I would read this memoir. Or buy to this album.
(Or listen to this playlist on spotify or soundcloud or whatever).

payitforward · Post #95 » by **payitforward** » Fri Sep 22, 2023 6:52 pm

gambitx777 wrote:I think I just make my fair share of bad choices....

We've all done that gamby -- be thankful you're not married to one of those "bad choices."

gambitx777 wrote:...I don't go out much anymore. ...I'm just trying to figure out my path forward when I'm afraid I'm made my way to far down a lonely road with not way back.

Absolutely not! You give evidence of having learned something about yourself; that's a good thing. & it means you have tools to find a way forward (not "back").

I'm guessing you're still pretty young. Not yet out of your 20s. So listen for a minute to someone with an extra half a century of experience:

I'm 81, birthday 10 days ago (but don't make the mistake of thinking I'm "old").

I met my third wife when I was 47.
OTOH, the day before I met her I would have said with a high degree of confidence that I would never be married again. Never be with anyone long term again.

Back then I was having serial relationships with women in their late 20s -- b/c that's who was available. I knew they wouldn't work out long term: they were sure to want children, for example, & I already had two kids. Wasn't looking for any more. In all, I wasn't particularly dissatisfied with my situation.

I'd had a book published that year, & I was on a reading tour on the East Coast. One reading was at a bookstore in DC. It was March 1, a Thursday. The weather was absolutely miserable. Cold, ugly, rainy... ugh. I was sure it was going to be a small audience, & as it turned out I was right.

About 10 minutes before I was to start, a woman walked into the place, & when I saw her my first thought was (I swear this is the truth) "I'm going to marry her." I did, & we're still married, still in love, still utterly happy.

Put yourself out in the world, Gamby, where good things can happen for you. & do positive things -- activities that will put you in the company of positive people. You'll be fine.

bsilver · Post #96 » by **bsilver** » Sat Sep 23, 2023 3:35 pm

gambitx777 wrote:I think I just make my fair share of bad choices. A costume designer with dreams of Broadway, a slutty school teacher who was too immature, a witch, another witch, a psycho poly leaning therapist, a few nurses, a couple phlebotomist and a nice young gal who had just gotten out of prison, to name a few.

I've lived a life but I never seem to catch a break with love. My youth is littered with bad choices. People I shouldn't have dated, people I should have let go sooner, people I shouldn't have let go of at all, people that haunt me.

I don't go out much anymore. I'm not as social as I use to be. Lately I've just had no luck at all on the dating scene. Mostly it's people who wanna hook up or girls that just end up not interested. I can't tell you how many times I'll be talking to a girl to get a text saying she isn't interested just for her to be dating some dude with post Malone tattoos, a few assault charges, for baby mommas and his meth dealer on speed dial. It's maddening.

I'm just trying to figure out my path forward when I'm afraid I'm made my way to far down a lonely road with not way back.

Sent from my SM-G991U1 using RealGM mobile app

Keep dating and post here. This is not advice. Oldsters like me and other set in ways types will vicariously enjoy your adventures.

pancakes3 · Post #97 » by **pancakes3** » Mon Sep 25, 2023 5:28 pm

i feel you gambitx. i'm single and in my 30's and it's bleak out there. definitely feels harder to meet people, and it seems like a lot of people out there have mismatched expectations/goals. ladies, none of us are getting any younger, so why are there so many 35 year olds out there saying "maybe kids one day" or "not ready to settle down" ? I'm not asking for kids now, or proposing - just want to see that we're on the same page.

i dated this one woman for a few months, 34, not ready to settle down or have kids, still married and going through a divorce, decided to break it off bc it felt like we were in a holding pattern, she gets pregnant 1 month later, and the baby daddy is court martialled for there separate counts of sexual abuse. other women straight up ask how much i make on the first date, or have asked if i'm going to get a new car (drive a 2014 bmw 3 series), and even said that my house was cute for a starter home but needs to be bigger (1600 sf in Falls Church).

badinage · Post #98 » by **badinage** » Mon Sep 25, 2023 6:30 pm

The DC area is particularly awful that way, pancakes. I have friends who talk about how beautiful a city it is, and how educated the population is. Enh. What I see: people who revere institutions and talk all the time about where they went to school. Who are materialist, acquisitive, and striving, but who hide behind their regard for education and ideas.

dobrojim · Post #99 » by **dobrojim** » Wed Sep 27, 2023 2:26 pm

It's pretty unseemly for people you don't know or barely know to start asking how much you make.

What would be the appropriate comeback to that? I can think of a few things but
none of them are likely to lead to a productive relationship. Really sorry about that.

Kanyewest · Post #100 » by **Kanyewest** » Thu Sep 28, 2023 12:36 am

dobrojim wrote:It's pretty unseemly for people you don't know or barely know to start asking how much you make.

What would be the appropriate comeback to that? I can think of a few things but
none of them are likely to lead to a productive relationship. Really sorry about that.

Best answer I saw

"You're already calculating what you'll get in the divorce?"

Probably the most diplomatic answer
"Enough"