Time: 7:00 PM ET
Where: Some place in that weird shaped state
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Dallas Mavericks

Mr. Terry

Mr. Jones

Mr. Howard

Mr. Nowitzki

Mr. Dampier
@
Orlando Magic

Mr. Arroyo

Mr. Evans

Mr. Turkoglu

Mr. Lewis

Mr. Howard
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This game will start off with a pyro display during the Magic introductions that will result in a firecracker going out of control and getting shot up Jason Terry's ass, causing his Beetlejuice looking head to explode in a moment of frightened extacy.
In the first five minutes of the game, Maurice Evans will throw down five dunks, and in the process, yet out a shrill yell that sounds much like the voice of a 4 year old girl getting attacked by spiders. This will cause the Mavs to all fall to the floor as their ears bleed from pain, as Orlando goes on a 20-0 run.
Dwight Howard will dominate the Mavericks en route to 25 points, 25 rebounds, and on one occasion, will pull a Kareem and drop a hook shot from 15 feet away, and while doing so, flips his leg up and kicks Dirk Nowitzki in the face, causing him to bleed uncontrollably as he is forced to sit out the remainder of the season, with the diagnosis being "Pussyalitis".
Hedo Turkoglu will continue his torrid run, scoring 30 points, 15 rebounds, 10 assists, and 9 steals, while going 10-10 from 3 Pt range. He will do his turkey dance across the floor, as MVP chants emmit not only from the Orlando crowd, from around the nation, as people flock the streets all over the USA, sporting Hedo masks and signs.
Orlando will get 40 points from their bench, with Brian Cook droppin 44 of them. Yes, that's right.
Magic win by 30.