OT: Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

MrOrlando · Post #1 » by **MrOrlando** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:26 pm

So, I'm checking out the message board here when I come across some sweet mormon action with the JC o' Latter-Day Saints ad, and thought I might be able to share a story with you guys.

You know how you always run and duck under the door, near a table, turn off all the lights when mormons come to the door to preach about how B.A. their religion is? Well, one day I was feeling a little dangerous, so I answered the door. To say the least I was a bit surprised, after pamphlets of endless information on "Hell and You" and "Mormons, Aww yeah!" and a fantastic prayer on my porch they asked if they could come back for another visit, still in my danger mode I agreed to hear them out for whatever reason.

Anyhow, I wasn't sure when they were coming back, when with parachutes they land on my doorstep (I didn't see them arrive, I only assume it was via parachute) and come in to tell me about their religion the background, the founder and what their church is about. So there we are, about to talk about JC (Jesus Christ as the old folks call'em) when they want to pray again, that's cool, I passed but they did it anyways. Anyhow, more pamphlets were tossed about in a business like manner, when the most interesting bit of information happened.

They get to the part about the difference between their churches and others, that other church's are merely fake ones and are only based on the partial beliefs of JC, and that if I didn't join their church, I'm going to hell. Damn mormons, at my dinner table, in my house telling me I'm going to hell!

The end.

Optimus_Steel · Post #2 » by **Optimus_Steel** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:31 pm

Some people jump off cliffs when they are feeling dangerous, some get crazy drunk and do drugs, and you......you talk to mormons...............you got balls.

MoGrAdY · Post #3 » by **MoGrAdY** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:33 pm

LMAO, gotta love that..

I remember once they showed up while I was playin basketball an started buggin me.. I told them several times I had no interest in listening to them.. So they instead hung around playing HORSE with me.. Its amazing how hard it is to get them to leave, I ended up jus givin in and listening to them for a bit..

MrOrlando · Post #4 » by **MrOrlando** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:36 pm

Yeah Mo, they must go through some kind of "Don't take no for an answer" class, because whatever you're doing currently they're willing to help or bug the hell out of you until you cave in. I'm pretty sure intelligence agencies go through the same training.

Post #5 » by **magik9113** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:46 pm

I still remember when I was a lot younger, about 7 years old, and a bunch of Jehovah's witness people were on my front lawn. my parents locked the doors and closed the blinds right as they walked up to the house. I'm like wtf and think we're getting robbed or something

then my dad tells me to go play soccer outside with my brother and that they just want to watch us play...and "if they ask for your parents, we aren't home and won't be home till forever"--his exact words.

so we went out and made them watch us for about 15-25 minutes till they left

ivDT · Post #6 » by **ivDT** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:57 pm

mormons, jehovah's witnesses and hare krishnans are all cool in my book.

Optimus_Steel · Post #7 » by **Optimus_Steel** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:59 pm

magik9113 wrote:I still remember when I was a lot younger, about 7 years old, and a bunch of Jehovah's witness people were on my front lawn. my parents locked the doors and closed the blinds right as they walked up to the house. I'm like wtf and think we're getting robbed or something

then my dad tells me to go play soccer outside with my brother and that they just want to watch us play...and "if they ask for your parents, we aren't home and won't be home till forever"--his exact words.

so we went out and made them watch us for about 15-25 minutes till they left

Wow scary. Man those people are scary. They come like once every 2 months on my subdivision, ussualy on a Sunday morning. I just dont answer the door, or if i do i will be like not interested and shut the door before they say somethin. Except for the one time they caught me about to get in my car, man that was torturous.

Stinko Malenko · Post #8 » by **Stinko Malenko** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:28 am

I try to answer my door naked when they knock

Post #9 » by **UCFJayBird** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:34 am

Stinko Malenko wrote:I try to answer my door naked when they knock

i answer and come outside naked as well, but I also have a large dildo in my hand with a bottle of lube. I just wink and smile and say, "ahhhh yea!"

PimpORL · Post #10 » by **PimpORL** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:57 am

lol This is what you should do next time
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mdmyarRUH6Y
But most Mormons aren't like that. I have some Mormon friends and they're really good people. I'm not sure about other Mormons, but they don't believe that if you don't have the same beliefs you'll go to hell and all that crap.

Potterman · Post #11 » by **Potterman** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:21 am

I hate to be the one that jumps out and says this. But I worry about the beliefs of JW & Mormons conflicting views with Christianity. They both are so different they dont even share the same views....it must be so difficult for you guys to have so many people claiming to be followers of Christ.

Supreme · Post #12 » by **Supreme** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:28 am

Yeah I also hate it when Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and Buddhists come to my home & try to convert me.

Wait a minute.........

maginno · Post #13 » by **maginno** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:42 am

I actually didn't know they made house calls. Its alway Jehovah witnesses at my door.

Kent · Post #14 » by **Kent** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:51 am

Great share, DFlight.

Don't worry. You're not going to hell. But all the other people that aren't Magic fans, they are going to hell.

bucsmagicfan · Post #15 » by **bucsmagicfan** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:11 am

DFlight wrote:So, I'm checking out the message board here when I come across some sweet mormon action with the JC o' Latter-Day Saints ad, and thought I might be able to share a story with you guys.

You know how you always run and duck under the door, near a table, turn off all the lights when mormons come to the door to preach about how B.A. their religion is? Well, one day I was feeling a little dangerous, so I answered the door. To say the least I was a bit surprised, after pamphlets of endless information on "Hell and You" and "Mormons, Aww yeah!" and a fantastic prayer on my porch they asked if they could come back for another visit, still in my danger mode I agreed to hear them out for whatever reason.

Anyhow, I wasn't sure when they were coming back, when with parachutes they land on my doorstep (I didn't see them arrive, I only assume it was via parachute) and come in to tell me about their religion the background, the founder and what their church is about. So there we are, about to talk about JC (Jesus Christ as the old folks call'em) when they want to pray again, that's cool, I passed but they did it anyways. Anyhow, more pamphlets were tossed about in a business like manner, when the most interesting bit of information happened.

They get to the part about the difference between their churches and others, that other church's are merely fake ones and are only based on the partial beliefs of JC, and that if I didn't join their church, I'm going to hell. Damn mormons, at my dinner table, in my house telling me I'm going to hell!

The end.

Hilarious! But I must say, didnt your parents ever warn you not to let these people into your home? I guarantee you haven't heard the last from them, they are a persistent group of individuals. I realize this is a bit politically incorrect but please head the warning and DO NOT DRINK THE KOOLAID!!! LOL!!!!!!

bucsmagicfan · Post #16 » by **bucsmagicfan** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:14 am

ivDT wrote:mormons, jehovah's witnesses and hare krishnans are all cool in my book.

Which one's smoke dope? Thats a religion I can live with. :lol:

MoGrAdY · Post #17 » by **MoGrAdY** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:51 am

PimpORL wrote:lol This is what you should do next time
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mdmyarRUH6Y
But most Mormons aren't like that. I have some Mormon friends and they're really good people. I'm not sure about other Mormons, but they don't believe that if you don't have the same beliefs you'll go to hell and all that crap.

Thats brilliant, they lost it..

maginno · Post #18 » by **maginno** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:08 am

bucsmagicfan wrote:-= original quote snipped =-

Which one's smoke dope? Thats a religion I can live with.

Rastafarians Mon.

maginno · Post #19 » by **maginno** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:11 am

Kent wrote:Don't worry. You're not going to hell. But all the other people that aren't Magic fans, they are going to hell.

Well maybe not all the other people but you have to think with the logo, the colors and Pat Riley running the organization the Heat are getting ready for inevitable trip.

BassMaster · Post #20 » by **BassMaster** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:45 am

maginno wrote:-= original quote snipped =-

Well maybe not all the other people but you have to think with the logo, the colors and Pat Riley running the organization the Heat are getting ready for inevitable trip.

I do not have a problem with the LDS Church, but then since I am a member of the LDS Church that might be the reason. You think!!!
Right now there are over 200 thousand Mormon Missionaries out in the field right now. So after they have read this they might visit y'all next.