I wouldn't trade Augustin for two All-Stars

[W_HAMILTON]

It'd take at least three for me to even think about it.

Well maybe not.

But do we finally have a player that we can overhype and overvalue? "Hi Hornets? Are you trading Chris Paul? Then bye." "Cavs? Negotiations start with LeBron, or they end with a dial tone."

This springs up from all the Rudy Fernandez talk. I'd love to go to other teams boards and tell them how, unless they give us their best player, they better not even think the name DJ Augustin.

Can I get banned for this? viewtopic.php?f=20&t=861645

[Paydro70]

Good god I hope we never have an "I'm done" thread from you sir. Awesome.

[BigSlam]

Can I get banned for this? viewtopic.php?f=20&t=861645

Naaaaa, probably just warned!!

Why the Heat though? Why Wade?

[W_HAMILTON]

They locked the thread, they probably new I was going to ask for more. And they were right.

Here Heat fans, here is my response to you!

******************************************

I've come to my senses.

I will accept Wade and a future first rounder. But that first rounder must be protected. Reverse protected. Bottom 58 protected. I only want it if it's top two. If it's bottom 58, you keep it. If it's top two, we take it. And since Augustin will make you a very good team for a very long time, I want an additional future first rounder, with the same stipulations, to be used as "interest" on the original first round pick.

You know what, nevermind. You can't have Augustin. Deal's off. You're lucky I don't demand a couple of second round picks for even allowing yourselves to delight in the thought of obtaining Augustin.

******************************************

They are nice and quick over there. They didn't even get a chance to reply before it was locked. They just get to wake up Sunday morning and see that staring them in the face. I'm a free man. Unless they get angry and track me down and come assault our board like the RealGM mafia or something. And that's why I picked the Heat; I was going to pick Toronto, but I didn't want those people following me home, so to speak. I figured Heat fans would be relatively tame.

[Heat3]

We have a trade thread on the Heat forum already and quite frankly whatever your joke is on this board doesn't translate over there. So don't spam over there with useless threads that only a bobcats fan would get a chuckle out of.

[W_HAMILTON]

No, they followed me back!

Maybe that's what I should have been doing all along? Maybe when all those Pistons and Blazers fans came over here, telling me how their 10ppg 4apg bench player is worth more than our starting lineup, they were playing a joke on us?

Now I get it!

[SteveMorrison15]

We have a trade thread on the Heat forum already and quite frankly whatever your joke is on this board doesn't translate over there. So don't spam over there with useless threads that only a bobcats fan would get a chuckle out of.

A guy with Steve Smith in his avatar will never get my respect.

or a Heat fan.

[doc.end]

Ham you are doing it wrong. At first you have to change your nickname. Than you have to get crazy avatar with DJ on it and really cocky sig with DJ on it. Then you can go trolling the right way. Otherwise they would know it is a joke. You have to get them asking themselves "is he serious, nah it can't be" but they have to remain suspicisous that you are sincere.

[W_HAMILTON]

Haha, good point. I forgot all about that part

[Paydro70]

Probably what you should do now, is really imitate another team by showing up with a trade offer that's comically unbalanced. Augustin for Wade+1st is going too far, they know you're trolling but they don't get the joke.

This ought to be like people making offers for JRich but without being willing to give up Stuckey, etc. Perhaps you could ask for David West from the Suns for Wallace straight up, but declare Augustin untouchable unless they throw in a first, etc.

[W_HAMILTON]

Hmmmmmm, you two seem to know a little bit too much about this stuff.

Someone needs to check the IPs and make sure doc.end and Paydro70 weren't those guys during the summer!

You two pulling one over on us would make a lot more sense than those fans really believing their bench players weren't worth our best starters.

And how about that reverse protection? That's going to be the wave of the future!

[Paydro70]

Well, it's already been revealed that I'm a computer program, so in theory my programmer could have nefarious purposes in mind.

lulz @ reverse protection. It's genius, really... make it top 3, and so if Miami wins the lottery EVER they have to give us the pick.

[doc.end]

Well, it's already been revealed that I'm a computer program, so in theory my programmer could have nefarious purposes in mind.

lulz @ reverse protection. It's genius, really... make it top 3, and so if Miami wins the lottery EVER they have to give us the pick.

Computer program asking Steve for avatar, wow, I would like to know the author of this thing. Well, maybe rather now, he is probably too good at it to be normal.

[doc.end]

You know ham, you got us. I'm just european alter-ego of he program. Beta testing version.

One more advice - you should make your bones at Trades and Transactions board first. It would much easier. You just have to make up silly trades ans ask other for their opinions. And make sure these trades rarely work in trade checkers.

[doc.end]

And disimprove your spelling! Otherwise nobody would take you seriously.

[fatlever]

this is comedy gold. this whole thread deserves HOF consideration.

what prompted all this? i must have missed some ridiculous dj trade offers or something.

[BigSlam]

I think it's based on a combination of feeling that we might have FINALLY lucked out and made a good selection in the draft and being desperate to find a silver lining on what appears to be a pretty dark cloud.

[fatlever]

we were due to draft a player who actually exceded expectations for once. until now, okafor was our best pick, and i wouldnt exactly say he "exceded" expectations (considering he was taken #2).

dj is better than i expected. he plays like a 5 year vet. i cant wait to see what he is doing in 2 years (when hopefully he is playing with some more talent around him).

[Paydro70]

No, I think this is just Hamilton's belated response to the entire summer of laughable trades... every team in the league is homerrific about at least one young guy, and now maybe it's our turn with DJ.

I "thought" (accessed in my harddrive) of one other relevant point... you should give whatever team you offer to some backhanded compliments/mild insults. I.e., "I like ur squad but seems like ur team's not going anywheer, mebbe you should do this:

Charlotte sends Gerald Wallace, Sean May
Sacramento sends Kevin Martin, Brad Miller, 1st Rounder

Mebbe we thro in 2nd rounder? U need SF, May is stud young big, Miller old and Martin have ugly jumper."

Once they say they won't do it, or that they only want Augustin, THEN you hit them with the "LOLZ I WUZ BEIN NICE, AUGUSTIN FOR WHOLE ROSTER MEBBE LOLOLOLOOLLLLLLL!!!!~~~~~11111ONEONEONE"

[fatlever]

haha... glad to see that P.A.D.R.O. translates realgm ballboy speak. just another amazing function of the worlds most powerful statistical robot. i'm pretty sure this is the beginning of skynet. the end of the world soon follows.