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Amare's options

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Amare's options 

Post#1 » by WTFsunsFTW » Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:59 pm

I whipped up a couple options for Amare to get him back on the court asap with style.

Option A:

We need Amare now, not in 3 months, so just take the damn eyeball out! Two eyeballs are for roleplayers, superstars can rock one and still look good. This piece features a decorative patch blinged out to full capacity, saying "don't get caught in my glimmer while I'm dunking on your face." It also prepares him for every Halloween and Pirates of the Caribbean party from here on out. Replica patches will be offered at the Suns Team Shop.

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Option B:
This is for the Amare that recovers quickly but can't stand the plain old glasses that are prescribed to him. Spice them up with yet again more bling, 4 and 6 carat conflict-free diamonds to be exact, distracting the offender with his impeccable taste while he drives the lane for a wham bam blam.

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Option C:
Bionic Amare. Human eyeballs are for humans. Amare is a finely tuned dominating machine. Let's outfit him as such. His new eye has 1 million times more color shade recognition, and depth perception assisted by radar. It is also equipped with infrared vision, helping him find which opponent is the most overheated so he can hand select the weakest enemy to dominate and humiliate. Oh, I forgot to mention the laser beam. Yes, it shoots freakin laser beams.

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Or he can just go with these:
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#2 » by hunterxaz » Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:12 am

haha. Good thread.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#3 » by alldayeveryday » Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:44 am

I blame Doris Meow. Plain and simple. Take him out with style tomorrow, Shaq.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#4 » by rsavaj » Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:55 am

brilliance.

and i think boris has played well enough to remove the 'doris' label...
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#5 » by TXSun » Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:28 am

haha funny. Hey does anybody have Shaq's intro recorded, the one vs Celtics?
"This is some bull $hit"
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#6 » by TXSun » Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:39 am

"This is some bull $hit"
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#7 » by albasuna » Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:00 am

hahahahhahahahaha good thread is good.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#8 » by JohnVancouver » Tue Feb 24, 2009 7:02 am

I'd go with the bionic laser eye, good for singeing errant officials. Also, while we're operating to install it, perhaps we could add a small onboard computer and load it with one of those instructional "rebounding and defense" dvds
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#9 » by Suns_fan_2007 » Tue Feb 24, 2009 7:13 am

ROFLMAO Great one mate!!
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#10 » by WTFsunsFTW » Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:55 am

JohnVancouver wrote:I'd go with the bionic laser eye, good for singeing errant officials. Also, while we're operating to install it, perhaps we could add a small onboard computer and load it with one of those instructional "rebounding and defense" dvds

*No option listed guarantees or implies, explicitly or implicitly, the enhancement of defensive prowess, skill or motivation. Amare Stoudemire and the Phoenix Suns are not, in any way, shape or form, affiliated with the "Better Basketball" Defense and Rebounding instructional DVDs, or Defense and Rebounding in general. All rights reserved.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#11 » by TASTIC » Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:42 pm

Option C, all day.


Where's Frank? Maybe Amare needs some if his glasses...haha
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#12 » by PHXfan85 » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:11 pm

Option C is already in motion. I got the pic for my avvy from the official Shwartz website the day of the surgery. They say it's a prototype, but STAT was all for testing it out.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#13 » by TASTIC » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:22 pm

He needs to be the STAT 1000
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#14 » by albasuna » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:45 pm

TASTIC wrote:He needs to be the STAT 1000



hahaha thats my Statistics course name. STAT 1000.
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Re: Amare's options 

Post#15 » by JohnVancouver » Tue Feb 24, 2009 7:50 pm

WTFsunsFTW wrote:
JohnVancouver wrote:I'd go with the bionic laser eye, good for singeing errant officials. Also, while we're operating to install it, perhaps we could add a small onboard computer and load it with one of those instructional "rebounding and defense" dvds

*No option listed guarantees or implies, explicitly or implicitly, the enhancement of defensive prowess, skill or motivation. Amare Stoudemire and the Phoenix Suns are not, in any way, shape or form, affiliated with the "Better Basketball" Defense and Rebounding instructional DVDs, or Defense and Rebounding in general. All rights reserved.


Damned fine print ....
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