Bill Simmons ESPN Wrestlemania article

Tricky Ricky · Post #1 » by **Tricky Ricky** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 12:14 pm

Has anyone read it? Its hilarious, poor Striker lol

Post #2 » by **Stanford** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 3:50 pm

It was an alright piece. Seemed like he enjoyed most of it. But It read like a guy telling his sports fan buddies who don't watch wrestling and think it's stupid about a 'sporting event' that he's kind of ashamed he watched, which of course is what it was. It had a typical BS arrogance to it though, that I find annoying.

Jack Swagger (this generation's flag-waving Hacksaw Jim Duggan)

Well, Duggan was always a face. Swagger may be one day, but not likely as the 'all american american', which is pretty much a heel character.

and Christian (who doesn't need a nickname or a last name)

Sure he does!

The staggering first-year success of Sheamus reminds me that we desperately need a WWE wrestler named "Masshole." Just a beefy troublemaker from Boston with a kicking accent who comes out to Aerosmith music while spitting Skoal juice into a red cup, takes everything personally, wears Boston jerseys, feuds with anyone from New York and has a finishing move called "The Sucker Punch." This wouldn't be a huge hit?

That's a damn good idea!

Striker was awful that night, but I think Cole was worse. If Striker stayed heel, he's be much more well received. Damn pg crap.

jeffhardyfan52 · Post #3 » by **jeffhardyfan52** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 6:01 pm

im not even going to bother reading it, i hate simmions must this moron get in to my world of wrestlng as well

Post #4 » by **Celtics_Champs** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 6:17 pm

The staggering first-year success of Sheamus reminds me that we desperately need a WWE wrestler named "Masshole." Just a beefy troublemaker from Boston with a kicking accent who comes out to Aerosmith music while spitting Skoal juice into a red cup, takes everything personally, wears Boston jerseys, feuds with anyone from New York and has a finishing move called "The Sucker Punch." This wouldn't be a huge hit?

I gotta work on my dropkicks.

Shemy · Post #5 » by **Shemy** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 6:53 pm

jeffhardyfan52 wrote:im not even going to bother reading it, i hate simmions must this moron get in to my world of wrestlng as well

Post #6 » by **Stanford** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 7:06 pm

jeffhardyfan52 wrote:im not even going to bother reading it, i hate simmions must this moron get in to my world of wrestlng as well

Your world? Bill Simmons was watching wrestling before you were born.

sh00n · Post #7 » by **sh00n** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 7:19 pm

Stanford wrote:
jeffhardyfan52 wrote:im not even going to bother reading it, i hate simmions must this moron get in to my world of wrestlng as well

Your world? Bill Simmons was watching wrestling before you were born.

Not to mention he's amazing. I love Simmons. I can understand the hate he gets but I find him hilarious.

jeffhardyfan52 · Post #8 » by **jeffhardyfan52** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 7:30 pm

hes a damn boston homer and he hates everything blazer realted

and im a wrestler so im in the wrestling world

skbucks1985 · Post #9 » by **skbucks1985** » Mon Apr 5, 2010 8:14 pm

I liked the article because I identified with it. I'm not ashamed to be a wrestling fan, but its not something I scream from the rooftops. And I'd say its more like a guilty pleasure/quirk of my personality.

Dunthreevy · Post #10 » by **Dunthreevy** » Wed Apr 7, 2010 6:49 pm

Been meaning to read the article since my buddy told me about it last week. My favorite part of the article so far...

0:24: The Viper (Orton) cleans house, pulls off five quality moves (including a double DDT), milks his gimmick a little (as the talented lunatic who makes weird faces, rolls his eyeballs, goes too slow and always seems like he's one meltdown away from murdering everyone in the stadium), then finishes off DiBiase with his patented RKO (a midair version of the Stone Cold Stunner). I haven't enjoyed a young wrestler who can't quite reach his considerable potential this much since Rob Van Dam. Um, not that I watch wrestling or anything.

and another....

0:43: Effective use of split-screen there: They showed a replay of Ziggler getting knocked out of the ring in Screen 2 as Kane was choke-slamming Ziggler onto a ladder on Screen 1. So if you're scoring at home, the WWE pulls off split-screens with ease during live events with 10 wrestlers, three ladders and eight things happening at once, yet CBS can't figure out how to put two March Madness games on the same screen.

Dunthreevy · Post #11 » by **Dunthreevy** » Wed Apr 7, 2010 7:03 pm

The article was truly a VERY good read. If you pass on it, then consider it your loss. Great job by Simmons.