Colangelo's Ten Commandments

[GameChannel]

Bryan Colangelo's Creed

I believe in Me, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Andrea Bargnani, my only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of Maurizio Gherardini and born of some Virgin.
He suffered in the post, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the three point line. On the third day he rose again for a rebound.
He ascended into the air and was seated on his ass at the right hand side of the basket.
He will come again to judge those who stole rebounds from him
I believe in the Three Point Shot,
the pump fake and travel, the Caliper Test,
the lack of accountability,
the awesomness of six rebounds,
and the Draft Lottery.
Amen

I spilled my water all over my laptop reading this.. GREAT JOB!

[Reignman]

Page 4 of this thread was epic!

BTW, I just read a quote by Augustine that seems fit for this thread and for all the Bargnani nuthuggers:

"For what is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see?"

[Raptorballz]

Thou shall stay on the treadmill till Raptors become extinct.

[sump]

Bryan Colangelo's Creed

I believe in Me, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Andrea Bargnani, my only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of Maurizio Gherardini and born of some Virgin.
He suffered in the post, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the three point line. On the third day he rose again for a rebound.
He ascended into the air and was seated on his ass at the right hand side of the basket.
He will come again to judge those who stole rebounds from him
I believe in the Three Point Shot,
the pump fake and travel, the Caliper Test,
the lack of accountability,
the awesomness of six rebounds,
and the everlasting Draft Lottery.
Amen

/thread

[Boogie!]

looks like we're past 10.

thou shalt make bold and risky decisions.

only one that actually makes sense imo.

[danny-callahan]

Bryan Colangelo's Creed

I believe in Me, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Andrea Bargnani, my only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of Maurizio Gherardini and born of some Virgin.
He suffered in the post, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the three point line. On the third day he rose again for a rebound.
He ascended into the air and was seated on his ass at the right hand side of the basket.
He will come again to judge those who stole rebounds from him
I believe in the Three Point Shot,
the pump fake and travel, the Caliper Test,
the lack of accountability,
the awesomness of six rebounds,
and the everlasting Draft Lottery.
Amen

[gregdj]

Thou shalt not trade my beloved bargnani

[Hendrix]

Thou shall not interview me during bad times

[YogiStewart]

8. Thou shalt properly groom thyself into game shape by attending nightclubs and gorging thyself upon numerous pizza slices late into the evening. (also acts as the perfect influenza remedy)

2 Hedo answered them, "Take the tomato sauce and cheese and dough that your sons and your daughters are baking, and bring them to me." 3 So all the people took their food brought them to Hedo. 4 He took what they handed him and made it into a giant cheese pizza, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "This is who I worship, O Toronto, and so delicious it is when brought forth from the hot pizza ovens."

5 When Hedo saw this, he placed his couch in front of the pizza and announced, "Tomorrow there will be a festival to the pizza." 6 So the next day the people stayed out late and bought Hedo drinks at a swanky Yorkville bar, all in the name of the pizza. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.

7 Then BC said to Triano, "Go down, because your free agent signing, whom you brought up out of Orlando, has become corrupt. 8 He has been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves a giant cheese pizza. He has bowed down to it and partied to it'

9 "I have seen these Toronto basketball fans," BC said to Triano, "and they are a stiff-necked people. 10 Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy their will to follow this team. Only then I will make you into a great basketball team."

11 But Triano sought the favor of BC. "O BC," he said, "why should your anger burn against your people, whom you brought out of the Eastern conference basement with great power and a mighty hand, only to return them to the basement for two consecutive seasons? 12 Why should Sarver say, 'It was with evil intent that he brought them out, to kill their spirit and to wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. 13 Remember your servants Jim Kelly, Maurizio and those other guys who are assistants to you, to whom you swore by your own self: 'I will make your payroll as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your players all this cash I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.' " 14 Then BC relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.

15 Triano turned and went down the mountain with his playbook in his hands. It was inscribed on both sides, front and back. 16 The playbooks were the work of BC; the writing was the writing of BC, engraved on the playbook, including playing time for Bargnani.

19 When BC approached the camp and saw the giant cheese pizza and the drinking and general laziness, his anger burned and he threw the playbook out of his hands, breaking them to pieces. 20 And he took the pizza they had made and made Hedo eat it; then he ground BC's words into a powder, scattered it on the water and made the Toronto media drink it as if it was Holy Kool-Aid.

[34_fifty]

thou shall keep doing your thang

[supersub15]

8. Thou shalt properly groom thyself into game shape by attending nightclubs and gorging thyself upon numerous pizza slices late into the evening. (also acts as the perfect influenza remedy)

2 Hedo answered them, "Take the tomato sauce and cheese and dough that your sons and your daughters are baking, and bring them to me." 3 So all the people took their food brought them to Hedo. 4 He took what they handed him and made it into a giant cheese pizza, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "This is who I worship, O Toronto, and so delicious it is when brought forth from the hot pizza ovens."

5 When Hedo saw this, he placed his couch in front of the pizza and announced, "Tomorrow there will be a festival to the pizza." 6 So the next day the people stayed out late and bought Hedo drinks at a swanky Yorkville bar, all in the name of the pizza. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.

7 Then BC said to Triano, "Go down, because your free agent signing, whom you brought up out of Orlando, has become corrupt. 8 He has been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves a giant cheese pizza. He has bowed down to it and partied to it'

9 "I have seen these Toronto basketball fans," BC said to Triano, "and they are a stiff-necked people. 10 Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy their will to follow this team. Only then I will make you into a great basketball team."

11 But Triano sought the favor of BC. "O BC," he said, "why should your anger burn against your people, whom you brought out of the Eastern conference basement with great power and a mighty hand, only to return them to the basement for two consecutive seasons? 12 Why should Sarver say, 'It was with evil intent that he brought them out, to kill their spirit and to wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. 13 Remember your servants Jim Kelly, Maurizio and those other guys who are assistants to you, to whom you swore by your own self: 'I will make your payroll as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your players all this cash I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.' " 14 Then BC relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.

15 Triano turned and went down the mountain with his playbook in his hands. It was inscribed on both sides, front and back. 16 The playbooks were the work of BC; the writing was the writing of BC, engraved on the playbook, including playing time for Bargnani.

19 When BC approached the camp and saw the giant cheese pizza and the drinking and general laziness, his anger burned and he threw the playbook out of his hands, breaking them to pieces. 20 And he took the pizza they had made and made Hedo eat it; then he ground BC's words into a powder, scattered it on the water and made the Toronto media drink it as if it was Holy Kool-Aid.

Just fantastic...

[zilby]

Thou shall not question thy coach, for he art mighty Canadian coach.

[zilby]

8. Thou shalt properly groom thyself into game shape by attending nightclubs and gorging thyself upon numerous pizza slices late into the evening. (also acts as the perfect influenza remedy)

2 Hedo answered them, "Take the tomato sauce and cheese and dough that your sons and your daughters are baking, and bring them to me." 3 So all the people took their food brought them to Hedo. 4 He took what they handed him and made it into a giant cheese pizza, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "This is who I worship, O Toronto, and so delicious it is when brought forth from the hot pizza ovens."

5 When Hedo saw this, he placed his couch in front of the pizza and announced, "Tomorrow there will be a festival to the pizza." 6 So the next day the people stayed out late and bought Hedo drinks at a swanky Yorkville bar, all in the name of the pizza. Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.

7 Then BC said to Triano, "Go down, because your free agent signing, whom you brought up out of Orlando, has become corrupt. 8 He has been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves a giant cheese pizza. He has bowed down to it and partied to it'

9 "I have seen these Toronto basketball fans," BC said to Triano, "and they are a stiff-necked people. 10 Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy their will to follow this team. Only then I will make you into a great basketball team."

11 But Triano sought the favor of BC. "O BC," he said, "why should your anger burn against your people, whom you brought out of the Eastern conference basement with great power and a mighty hand, only to return them to the basement for two consecutive seasons? 12 Why should Sarver say, 'It was with evil intent that he brought them out, to kill their spirit and to wipe them off the face of the earth'? Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. 13 Remember your servants Jim Kelly, Maurizio and those other guys who are assistants to you, to whom you swore by your own self: 'I will make your payroll as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your players all this cash I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.' " 14 Then BC relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.

15 Triano turned and went down the mountain with his playbook in his hands. It was inscribed on both sides, front and back. 16 The playbooks were the work of BC; the writing was the writing of BC, engraved on the playbook, including playing time for Bargnani.

19 When BC approached the camp and saw the giant cheese pizza and the drinking and general laziness, his anger burned and he threw the playbook out of his hands, breaking them to pieces. 20 And he took the pizza they had made and made Hedo eat it; then he ground BC's words into a powder, scattered it on the water and made the Toronto media drink it as if it was Holy Kool-Aid.

Beautiful work Yogi...

[VerbalKint]

In the beginning Babcock brought the Raptors' fans hell on earth.

And the Raptors were without form, and void; and softness was the impression conveyed to the league. And the spirit of BC moved upon the face of the roster.

And BC said, Let there be draft picks: and the Raptors won the lottery.

And BC saw the pick, that [it was] good: and BC divided those that passed the caliper test from those that didn't.

And BC called the pick Il Mago, and the assistant GM he called the "Godfather". And Andrea Bargnani was the first pick.

[Tony_Montana]

17 Whoever loves defense will be traded;
he who loves rebounding and driving will not be rich.

[Tony_Montana]

11 “Blessed is Bargnani who when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the franchise players who were before you.”

[Tony_Montana]

19 It is better to be of a low talent level with the shooters
than to play defense and rebound with the greats.

[guitarmanchu]

I believe in Me, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Andrea Bargnani, my only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of Delonte West and born of the Virgin Maurizio.
He suffered in the post, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the three point line. On the third day he rose again for a rebound.
He ascended into the air and was seated on his ass at the right hand side of the basket.
He will come again to judge those who stole rebounds from him
I believe in the Three Point Shot,
the pump fake and travel, the Caliper Test,
the lack of accountability,
the awesomness of six rebounds,
and the everlasting Draft Lottery.
Amen

Fixed.

(Absolutely epic post, BTW)

[Tony_Montana]

8 For if we shoot and miss, we can't rebound, and if we shoot and make, we can't defend. So then, whether we score or whether we miss, we are mediocre.

[FirstInkTDot]

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours draft picks