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Welcome to the NBA Finals.
**
Men, we are on the plain where our forefathers bled and died to ensure the legacy of our people. We have finally made it to the mountaintop of Kings. Battles have been won and lost, and after a strong show of resolve in our last two battles with the Kings of the Southwest, we faltered in our recent conflict.
Disgusting. Are we to let something like this discourage us? Surely our testicles exist in this world of Irish Madness! As Laker Warriors, are we the ones to hand the championship to that wretched beast from the East (KG, Paul Pierce, Rajon and the like)? I for one will be damned! Revenge begins tonight, and we will NOT allow them to emerge victorious! Time and energy is on our side!
After making our way through the West, we have grown stronger. We have withstood the best punches of the best teams in the league, only to stand strong above them. Even though we are stronger than we have ever been, it has reached the point where our current enemies from Boston have grown expectant of victory! Do not let the splendid play of Rajon Rondo fool you men! We may be outnumbered, outhustled and outscored, but our fighting spirits are stronger! Only a champion forces a force greater then theirs to struggle to match our power! Raising their level to heights not yet seen in these Playoffs, they surprised us in our last battle, and yet we battled them to a standstill, before a critical error gave them the victory.
The 2008 NBA Finals tortured us yes, but are we to retreat into the obscurity of a shocked team? NO! We have fought hard in the months since then, and emerged to the top of the league – as NBA Champions! Led by the excellence of Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom, we will line up for what many thought will be our last stand, and WE WILL WIN!!!!

Men of Los Angeles....
WE MUST ATTACK XERXES (Boston) AS THOUGH WE WERE SPARTANS!
"Give them nothing, but take from them...EVERYTHING!!!"[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHxIssSROjk[/youtube]
Do we allow foreigners to come into our land and desecrate what we hold dear to us? Some say that a comeback is madness. I say to he that utter this blasphemy......
NEVER! THIS IS LOS ANGELES!!Rondo: Choose your next words carefully, Kobe. They may be your last as MVP.
Kobe Bryant: [to himself: thinking] "Failure and loss"?
[Kobe unsheathes and points his sword at the overgrown Leprechaun’s throat]
Rondo: Madman! You're a madman!
Kobe Bryant: Failure and loss? You'll find plenty of both at home.
Rondo: No man, Laker, Cavalier, or Magician, no man threatens a Celtic!
Kobe Bryant: You bring the banners and rings of retired champions to my city steps. You insult my Centers. You threaten my people with shame and failure! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Celtic. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Pierce: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Kobe Bryant: Madness...?
[shouting]
Kobe Bryant: This is LOS ANGELES!
[Kicks the messenger down the well]
THE LAND OF MAGIC AND KAREEM!! THE LAND OF WILT CHAMBERLAIN AND JERRY WEST!! THE LAND OF THE IMMORTAL GEORGE MIKAN THAT STARTED IT ALL!
DID THEY BACK DOWN!?!? NEVER![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxUwvfBVweI[/youtube]
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Allen A thousand odds of the Celtic Dynasty descend upon you. Our three pointers will blot out the sun!
Bynum: Then we will bang in the post!
WE WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM US!! WE HAVE COME TOO FAR TO TURN BACK NOW!!!Kobe, the entire Laker Nation cries out to you. It is upon your shoulders to guide us to the promised land. Listen to those calling out for the heads of you and your men. Our march cannot end at the feet Boston empty-handed again! You must wake up and flood the hearts and souls of the entire league with your greatness if we are to rise again among the Champions! Sasha has his many excuses (a vagina), but you have none! The entire team is on your back! You are our champion Kobe! You must reawaken! Now is the time!!Your warriors are ready. This time around, we will not be as easily pushed around. We have a little more help this time.






It's time to focus, Kobe.





[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uzY4SOJ3Qs[/youtube]
Kobe Bryant: Lakers! Prepare for glory!
Perkins: Glory? Have you gone mad? There is no glory to be had now! Only retreat, or surrender or death!
Kobe Bryant: Well, that's an easy choice for us, Celtic! We Lakers never retreat! We Lakers never surrender! Go spread the word. Let every Warrior assembled know the truth of this. Let each among them search his own soul. And while you're at it, search your own!
Even as we look deep into the eyes of defeat, we must hold our ground! We no longer have the protection of our homeland on our backs, for we are in enemy territory now! This is easily the most hostile territory for a Laker Warrior to be in, as the war between the feuding tribes has stretched back to the days of our forefathers. We cannot allow these brutes to taste victory from our hands! Don't give them any breathing room!
Do we really want to lose to this?!?!










I'll be damned!
Davis: All that God-King Auerbach requires is this: a simple offering of earth and water. A token of Los Angeles' submission to the will of Garnett.
Kobe Bryant: Submission? Well that's a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it the Blazers have already turned you down, and if those former contenders and, uh, floppers have found that kind of nerve, then...
Gasol: We must be diplomatic.
Kobe Bryant: [ignoring Gasol] ... and, of course, Lakers have their reputation to consider.
There is no peace unless victory is attained. We must fight to win this game, for the odds are truly against us from the outset.Celtic General: Lakers, lay down your weapons!
[a spear flies out and impales him through the chest, and he falls out of the saddle, dead]
Kobe Bryant: Stupid Celtic! Come and get them!
KOBE!!! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT WE WRENCH VICTORY FROM THE HANDS OF THE RED SCARE!!!!!! GET MAD!!!!
















Bring it on Boston! Tonight, we dine...in HELL!!!!

Let's go settle our business.
