Flowcharts for NBA players' minds

EtchenBa · Post #1 » by **EtchenBa** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 12:56 am

Carlos Boozer:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Zach Randolph:

Is anybody else open?
|
|
|
No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
|
|
|
Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.

Blackmun · Post #2 » by **Blackmun** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:00 am

Heh. I give it a 6/10. Only two players, though?

Subway Token · Post #3 » by **Subway Token** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:00 am

This thread could get epic.

Adam Morrison

Did I just come in the game?
l
l
l
No -------> Everything's normal, don't worry.
l
l
l
Yes --------> Wake up.

Al Harrington:

Did I just get the ball?
l
l
l
Yes ------> WTF are you waiting for, shoot!!!!!
l
l
l
No --------> WTF are you waiting for, get the ball and shoot!!!!!!!!!

Post #4 » by **darth_federer** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:05 am

EtchenBa wrote:Carlos Boozer:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Zach Randolph:

Is anybody else open?
|
|
|
No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
|
|
|
Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.

NBA Fan 1234 · Post #5 » by **NBA Fan 1234** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:07 am

Lmao this is gonna be a great thread. Gotta love the way its going so far.

Vitamin · Post #6 » by **Vitamin** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:07 am

Andrew Bynum:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Tell Vujacic to "Gimme the ****in' ball!"

|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Find a way to injure my own knees

Ron Harper · Post #7 » by **Ron Harper** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:33 am

Screens should be telegraphed, tis the point of the screens. You know, put the pressure on the defense to commit over/under.

Besides, teams starting at the HS level call those out.

RipCityLives · Post #8 » by **RipCityLives** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:33 am

Kwame Brown..................

Do I have the ball???
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yes----------------------->>>>Damn, why they passed me???
.
.
.
.
.
No------------------------>>>> Thanks God, I'll have a postgame without critics.

Shaq
.

Free throw attempt???
.
.
.
.Yes---------------->>>Hack-a-Shaq, what a disgrace for bball!!
.
.
.
.No----------------->>>They cant stop me!

Kobe Bryant
.
. Are we losing???
.
.
.Yes------------------>>>I will shoot 20 FGs in the second half
.
.
.
. No------------------>>>I will shoot 20 FGs in the second half

Rajon Rondo.....
Am I wide open from downtown???
.
.
.
.
Yes----------------->>>What the hell I should do now???
.
.
.
.
No------------------->>>They know my jumpshot had improved so much.

:lol:

Volcano · Post #9 » by **Volcano** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:41 am

Lebron:
Do I, Lebron, have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Lebron will day dream about playing with Dwayne Wade. Oh wait! He's right next to me..I mean right next to Lebron.
/
/
/
Yes
---> Lebron should dribble once, take two steps and a crab shuffle and dunk. Note to Lebron: What Lebron does with the ball is no simple matter. Lebron must hold a one hour ESPN special on how Lebron decided to dunk. Fans must not know that Lebron had already planned to dunk before he got the ball.

Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.

RipCityLives · Post #10 » by **RipCityLives** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:42 am

^^^^^Too good. :lol:

Lamak · Post #11 » by **Lamak** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:46 am

JR Smith:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Stand at 3 point line yelling with hands out ready for a pass
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Do 3 crossovers take it to the hole with a spin move, then take it back outside and jack up a 3
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Throw up whatever gang sign I'm feeling that day
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Look around the stadium until I spot the dance squad

DonKilluminati · Post #12 » by **DonKilluminati** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 1:47 am

Volcano wrote:Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.

As much as I love Kobe, I have to admit, I loled hard. :lol:

EtchenBa · Post #13 » by **EtchenBa** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 2:46 am

The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.

You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.

yeah, i mad.

Eliowns · Post #14 » by **Eliowns** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 2:52 am

darth_federer wrote:
EtchenBa wrote:Carlos Boozer:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Follow Deron Williams around the court until he uses my horribly telegraphed screen
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Try to create my own shot even though I have one of the best passing PGs in the league
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Zach Randolph:

Is anybody else open?
|
|
|
No ----------> Steps out to shoot a 3.
|
|
|
Yes ----------> Pass fakes, then proceeds to shoot a 3.

haha! love it! :lol:

stacey_is_king · Post #15 » by **stacey_is_king** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:15 am

Lamak wrote:JR Smith:

Do I have the ball?
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Stand at 3 point line yelling with hands out ready for a pass
|
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Do 3 crossovers take it to the hole with a spin move, then take it back outside and jack up a 3
|
|
|
|
Did I score?
|
|
|
Yes -----------------> Throw up whatever gang sign I'm feeling that day
|
|
|
|
No ------------------> Look around the stadium until I spot the dance squad

Best one.

DonKilluminati · Post #16 » by **DonKilluminati** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:20 am

EtchenBa wrote:The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.

You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.

yeah, i mad.

I'm selling this new product I invented the other night, and I really think you could benefit from it.

Would you be interested in investing some capital into my company sir?

Stills12 · Post #17 » by **Stills12** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 3:33 am

Volcano wrote:Lebron:
Do I, Lebron, have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Lebron will day dream about playing with Dwayne Wade. Oh wait! He's right next to me..I mean right next to Lebron.
/
/
/
Yes
---> Lebron should dribble once, take two steps and a crab shuffle and dunk. Note to Lebron: What Lebron does with the ball is no simple matter. Lebron must hold a one hour ESPN special on how Lebron decided to dunk. Fans must not know that Lebron had already planned to dunk before he got the ball.

Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
/
/
/
No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
/
/
/
Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.

This Is Gold :lol:

TruSkool · Post #18 » by **TruSkool** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 4:41 am

Pau Gasol-----

Do I have the ball?
I
I
I
I-------------------->YES-----cool, now im gona jab step until theres 3 seconds left to shoot and then whine to the ref about not getting the call.
I
I
I
I
I
I------------------->NO----how the hell did phil jackson win 11 rings without learning how to go inside then outside?

Tracy McGrady

Did I get the ball?
I
I
I
I
I
---------------->YES----- uh oh, this could get career ending
I
I
I
I
I
I----------------->NO---- come on!!! i have to prove myself!!!

TheHartBreakKid · Post #19 » by **TheHartBreakKid** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 5:08 am

Roger Murdock · Post #20 » by **Roger Murdock** » Mon Sep 6, 2010 5:10 am

Isiah Thomas

Am I being employed by the New York Knicks?
.
.
.
.
.
Yes - Try to sign a player for 3 times his market value and if that doesn't work trade draft picks for someone ****. Celebrate by molesting an employee.
.
.
.
.
No - Try to kill myself by overdosing on pills and then tell the national news it wasn't me, just my daughter.