Flowcharts for NBA players' minds

[Dirty Water]

Kendrick Perkins

Do I have the ball?
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--------------->NO ----- stand around and scowl at people
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------------->YES ------ gather the ball, back down, gather... gather... pump fake, gather.... gather....shoot baby hook.

Did I score?
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--------------> NO ------ jog back down court scowling at people
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--------------> YES ------ jog back down court scowling at people

[SonicMcMahon]

Isiah Thomas

Am I being employed by the New York Knicks?
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Yes - Try to sign a player for 3 times his market value and if that doesn't work trade draft picks for someone ****. Celebrate by molesting an employee.
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No - Try to kill myself by overdosing on pills and then tell the national news it wasn't me, just my daughter.

lol'd for like a full 4 minutes. good job. So blunt and mean.

[infinite11285]

Funny....but this is going to get very old, very fast.

[Dirty Water]

Funny....but this is going to get very old, very fast.

Then why not contribute instead of just sitting there being a negative nancy?

[EtchenBa]

The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.

You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.

yeah, i mad.

I'm selling this new product I invented the other night, and I really think you could benefit from it.



Would you be interested in investing some capital into my company sir?

Would you be interested in taking your outstanding wit and unparalleled comedic ability and shoving it up your ass?

Sorry for having standards for what I find funny. I don't like these rehashed "Kobe is a ballhog" and "LeBron is a douche" jokes.

[10scott10]

Antoine Walker


Are there fours?
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NO------> Shoot a three

[Dirty Water]

I stand by OP. I'm sick of everyone posting little tidbits about Lebron and Kobe. Come up with something else.

[MartyConlonJr]

Shaq

Question being asked about player/coach/team/medical staff. Am I on their team?
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YES ----> Praise them.
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NO -----> Throw under a bus.

[EtchenBa]

I stand by OP. I'm sick of everyone posting little tidbits about Lebron and Kobe. Come up with something else.

Thanks, it's nice to know there are at least a few people on here with standards for internet humor.

I like most of the other ones, my favorite original one was the J.R. Smith one. I've seen the Boozer one before, but I forgot about it.

[deadstock_bM]

Kobe:
Do I have the ball?
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No
---> Wave my hands up and down in the air until I get the ball
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Yes
---> If I'm getting single coverage, take a shot
---> If I'm getting double teamed, take a shot
---> If I'm getting triple teamed, take a fade away shot
---> If four guys are on me, take a fade away and stick out my bottom teeth like I'm awesome. People will associate me with this face like they do with MJ's tongue.
---> If five guys are on me, maybe pass it to Gasol. Nah, take the shot just to be safe.

LOL

[SUN]

Jose Calderon:

Am I playing defense?
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Yes.
---> Ten feet way from the three point line, raise hands. Repeat.

[DonKilluminati]

The point of this thread wasn't to repeat stupid, cliched commentary about Kobe or LeBron.

You're not funny when you post more than a sentence for a part of the flowchart.

yeah, i mad.

I'm selling this new product I invented the other night, and I really think you could benefit from it.



Would you be interested in investing some capital into my company sir?

Would you be interested in taking your outstanding wit and unparalleled comedic ability and shoving it up your ass?

Sorry for having standards for what I find funny. I don't like these rehashed "Kobe is a ballhog" and "LeBron is a douche" jokes.

You know what's so cool about the internet? Unlike real life, where one is subjected to media blitzkriegs and inept failures of human beings every day with no choice but to drudge on without repercussion, the internet, for the most part, gives you the choice of when and what you want to see. If you don't like media blitzkriegs, don't click on the add riddled sites. If you don't like inept failures of human beings, Yahoo! Comments is probably a great place to avoid. Funnily enough, the same internet logic applies in a forum setting; if you don't like a thread, you can choose not to click on it, thereby eliminating the experience of having to read the same old rhetoric and sarcasm you really don't want to see for the upteenth time. But no, that wasn't your choice. Your choice was to come in, put your diapers on, and start whining about something you didn't even have to see in the first place. Someone's lost in Freud's 'anal stage' realm.

[EtchenBa]

I'm selling this new product I invented the other night, and I really think you could benefit from it.



Would you be interested in investing some capital into my company sir?

Would you be interested in taking your outstanding wit and unparalleled comedic ability and shoving it up your ass?

Sorry for having standards for what I find funny. I don't like these rehashed "Kobe is a ballhog" and "LeBron is a douche" jokes.

You know what's so cool about the internet? Unlike real life, where one is subjected to media blitzkriegs and inept failures of human beings every day with no choice but to drudge on without repercussion, the internet, for the most part, gives you the choice of when and what you want to see. If you don't like media blitzkriegs, don't click on the add riddled sites. If you don't like inept failures of human beings, Yahoo! Comments is probably a great place to avoid. Funnily enough, the same internet logic applies in a forum setting; if you don't like a thread, you can choose not to click on it, thereby eliminating the experience of having to read the same old rhetoric and sarcasm you really don't want to see for the upteenth time. But no, that wasn't your choice. Your choice was to come in, put your diapers on, and start whining about something you didn't even have to see in the first place. Someone's lost in Freud's 'anal stage' realm.

I created the damn thread; I think it goes without saying that I don't want the same old rehashed "Kobe isi a ballhog" and "LeBron is a douche" stuff. It's NOT my choice whether some people decide to come into MY topic and mindlessly bash for the thousandth time, two of the greatest players currently in the NBA. Obviously there are no specific rules about what can and can't go on in a topic I create, but I would expect at least an ounce of intelligence to be put into these flow charts. It was my choice to come into MY OWN THREAD. The title wasn't "mindless Kobe and LeBron bashing," obviously I wouldn't have entered a thread if it was going to be full of crap. And I DID have to see this in the first place, it's my own damn thread, I certainly wasn't promoting stupid stuff to be posted in here, so it's reasonable that I'm pissed that there's a bunch of utterly unfunny crap in here

[joeysicko]

Brad Miller

I must stand at the three point line....
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do I get the ball
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no, continue to stand at the three point line avoid paint at all costs
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yes, shoot the three chicks dig the long ball or
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old man up fake........dribble.......... dribble
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dribble
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dribble
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(should I jump?).......
no, of course not, put up walking lay up

[Clangus]

Allen Iverson

going to Game or Practice
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Game ----> Attend
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Practice
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We talking about practice?
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Yes
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Not a game?
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no, its Practice
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Man we talking bout practice...
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Its not even a game, its practice
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Practice
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Practice? - Ima skip it, After all its Practice

[Calvin Klein]

Brian Scalabrine


Do I have the ball??
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No ----> Everything's fine. Be orange.
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Yes ----> Wake up.

[thesneakysneak]

Antoine Walker


Are there fours?
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NO------> Shoot a three

best one yet.

[DonKilluminati]

I created the damn thread; I think it goes without saying that I don't want the same old rehashed "Kobe isi a ballhog" and "LeBron is a douche" stuff. It's NOT my choice whether some people decide to come into MY topic and mindlessly bash for the thousandth time, two of the greatest players currently in the NBA. Obviously there are no specific rules about what can and can't go on in a topic I create, but I would expect at least an ounce of intelligence to be put into these flow charts. It was my choice to come into MY OWN THREAD. The title wasn't "mindless Kobe and LeBron bashing," obviously I wouldn't have entered a thread if it was going to be full of crap. And I DID have to see this in the first place, it's my own damn thread, I certainly wasn't promoting stupid stuff to be posted in here, so it's reasonable that I'm pissed that there's a bunch of utterly unfunny crap in here

I'm sorry that I didn't pay attention to the fact that it was your thread to begin with, but the point is still valid. This is the internet. You know, the same internet that's been filled with noobs and half brain-dead 14 year olds since practically the day after TCP/IP was introduced to the public. Threads are going to get dumb-downed and derailed by the inevitability of idiocy and conformity to common attitudes (i.e. dummies trying to be funny). If you're going to have a stroke every time people rehash the same old bull, you're going burn yourself out real fast. And the funny thing is, like I've said before, instead of using that beautiful brain of yours to think of a new topic you'd like to discuss and let the simpletons have their fun, you try to exercise some measure of control over something you know you have absolutely no control over. That's the very definition of being anal.

Honestly, you knew what was going to happen. That's why you're pissed. But now it's time to get over it.

[Larry Riley ftw]

andrei kirelinko

do i have the ball?
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YES---give the ball to deron and stand in the corner
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NO-- stand in the corner

how should i play defense?
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off ball---flop when someone touches me
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on ball-- flop, but harder

[orange_juice32]

Rasheed Wallace

Am I on offense?
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YES ----------------- Spot up for a 3
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NO ----------------- Did I get whistled for a foul?
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YES ---------------------------- Stare down the ref
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Did they make the free throws?
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YES ---------------- Keep talking till I get T'ed up
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NO --------------- Ball don't lie
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Did we win the game?
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YES --------------- Both teams played hard
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NO --------------- Both teams played hard