
Funk Train vs. Snakebites*
*Possibly NSFW depending on the conservativeness of your workplace
LINEUPS

Years can be found in the roster thread.
Walt Frazier(36)/Don Buse(12)
John Havlicek(42)/Eddie Jones(6)
Eddie Jones(30)/Carmelo Anthony(18)
Horace Grant(30)/Amare Stoudemire(18)
Bob Lanier(36)/Jeff Foster(12)
So I would like to point out that Snake's starting lineup possesses an impressive 7 total championships. Mine has only a measly 14 to their name. But I've never really liked to use rings as a comparison, cause then Horry would've been one of the 9 GOAT players disqualified from this draft.
THE FORMULA

BETTER DEFENSE + BETTER REBOUNDING = MORE POSSESSIONS
BETTER EFFICIENCY + MORE POSSESSIONS = MORE POINTS
If you ask the great John Madden, more points results in a victory, usually.
BETTER DEFENSE

Frazier is the best defensive PG to ever live. He negates the advantage Chauncey usually enjoys, which is his strength, and his offense as a larger guard also challenges Billups' defense. Havlicek is the best wing defender to ever live, and he beats out Bob Dandridge not just on credentials, but because he has infinite energy, playing 40+ minutes a game on 1st-team defensive tilt for 5 years; and we're reserving him, so to speak, at 42 minutes a game (he played 45 minutes a game in this stretch). His offense didn't suffer at all. Now here's where it's interesting.
Eddie Jones against a prime Clyde Drexler is seemingly in Drexler's favor. In head-to-head matchups where both started, Eddie Jones shot 46% from the field, and this is when Drexler's improved defense kicked in for the Rocket's title run. Eddie Jones' defense held Drexler to 35% shooting. Drexler's average was around 43% at the time, so that's an 8% drop in FG%. Meanwhile, Drexler's defense did not put a dent in Jones' scoring output and efficiency. This is before Eddie Jones' prime and after Drexler's prime, with some crossover in that respect.
Then there's Pettit and Grant. Pettit was the master PF, but that was before the age of Wilt, Russell, and Kareem. Against shorter and less talented players Pettit shot 43% for his career. That's half of Grant's job done for him. Additionally, Grant has the strength, quickness, and athleticism advantages over Pettit, and he knows how to use them, as they netted him all-defensive team selections.
Obviously, the Admiral has better defense than Lanier, but not by much. Lanier blocks 2.6 shots a game in his two-year span, and led the league in defensive rating (beating out contemporaries Elvin Hayes, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Dave Debusschere, just to name a few). In fact, his defensive presence was largely underrated, as he had all-defensive talent, getting beat out by Kareem, Thurmond, and Cowens. So he can hang.
Off the bench, it may seem that Micheal Ray Richardson anchors a better off-the-bench D. I have somebody better. Don Buse led the different league in assists (to be revisited later) and steals in consecutive years, just 4 years before Richardson posted his career-high of 3.2. Buse's numbers his two years were 4.1 and 3.5 steals a game, not to mention Buse's 6 1st-team defensive selections (4 for the ABA) to Richardson's 2.
Paul Pressey was on the all-defensive 1st team twice, with one 2nd team selection. Tayshaun Prince has 4 2nd team selections. Pressey may have been overrated next to Moncrief, and Prince may have been overrated next to everybody he played with. Carmelo and English are both average defenders, and Amare and Tom Chambers are not going to lock anybody down. Rasheed Wallace and Jeff Foster both move their feet and defend well in the post and the perimeter. Wallace is a shotblocker while Foster denies post position. Wallace is more well-known, but Foster is a hustling workhorse. The most striking part is that Foster's offensive rating to defensive rating difference for his career is a 13 and Rasheed Wallace's is 9.
Also, my team averages way more steals. Frazier steals more than Billups, Buse steals more than MRR, Jones steals more than Drexler, Havlicek steals the same as Dandridge, Melo steals the same as English, Grant steals more than Pettit, and Lanier steals just a little under Robinson. Amare and Foster steal more than Sheed. It's just statistical fact.
BETTER REBOUNDING

Balls. My players can get them when they are up in the air. Grabbing balls. That's what this team is all about. Putting bodies on you, getting in position. Like Chinese girls.
AHEM.
David Robinson's rebounding numbers are impressive. His rebound rate is 16.2% and 18.4%. Bob Lanier's rebound rate is 18.1% and 16.8%. So if we're nitpicking, that's .3% in my favor. But I'll call it even.
Bob Pettit's numbers are inflated because of pace. If adjusted, he averages around 12 rebounds a game in the Jordan era, with a per-36 adjusted 10.8 rebounds per game in his best year. Grant earned 10.2 per 36 minutes in his better year. Both suffered the same decrease in rebounding in their other years (about 6-8%, with Pettit's being larger), so this rebounding battle is pretty close.
I also have more balanced rebounding. Hondo can hold his own against Dandridge. Eddie Jones and Walt Frazier combine for an advantage over Clyde and Chauncey.
Where the advantage becomes clear is off the bench. Carmelo outrebounds English slightly (11.25% rebound rate to 10.3%), and then Amare and Foster outrebound Rasheed Wallace by a lot. My players have rates of 17%, 15.2%, 20.6%, and 20.9% to 12.8% and 12.9%, so even Amare can outboard Rasheed. With Rasheed playing half the game, the rebound advantage goes to me, with no weak rebounders at the bigs.
BETTER EFFICIENCY

Here we get into the logistics of my gameplan and matchups. After trying a few different calculations (adjusting for minutes, assigning less shots to Pettit, etc.), the two FG% are neck-and-neck. The ball is in Frazier and Lanier's hands. Grant sets screens for Havlicek and Eddie Jones, both great off-the-ball players. For those of you who don't know, Havlicek is one of the few pre-3-point era players who has undisputed 3-point range, taking many of his shots from outside of 25 feet. He was a prolific jump-shooter and his efficiency would only rise if he came into the league today because his half-court offense is like Reggie Miller with an inside game.
So Frazier is piloting the offense. He is driving and creating, using his height to find other people. He is the leader on the offensive end, taking charge and directing flow. It earned him more rings than Oscar, Kidd, Payton, and Billups. Lanier can play very well in the low post and very well in the high post. Eddie Jones and Havlicek can cut inside or pop out for the long range shots and Lanier can find them, as one of the best passing centers of all time (the Dobber averages more assists per game than Robinson over their respective two years, at almost 4.5 a game). Horace Grant fills in the spaces with his ability to crash the glass or deliver an efficient jumper. You cannot double team anyone on this team because the best offensive options can pass.
The bench is primarily a running unit. Buse, Havlicek/Jones, Melo, Amare, and Foster will push the tempo. Amare and Foster are both great runners and we all know what Amare does to finish breaks. Foster is also a good finisher at the rim, and I'm not just saying that. He's not just your average white hustle center. He has a dependable jumper to 15 feet, and is deceptively athletic. He is one of the few white free-throw line dunkers out there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wbkrWJIp0
As you can see, he's also a good pick-and-roll finisher. So with Buse, a 36% 3-point shooter and Carmelo and whoever is playing SG as spacers, Amare has room to work. Carmelo plays the role of off-the-ball scorer. The two seasons I have chosen are his best (pre-trade-request) in this regard. They also have an easier time defending the range-less bench of Snakebites; the only 3-point shooter off Snakebites' bench is Rasheed Wallace.
In the starting lineup, Chauncey is the only consistent 3-point threat.. He also does not benefit from having multiple long-range threats to swing the ball to him. Drexler is shooting 24.3% in the selected seasons, attempting less than one a game. Dandridge is a good midrange shooter, but cannot space like Havlicek and being guarded by Havlicek also throws off your game.
Bob Pettit is not scary at all from an efficiency standpoint. He was fearsome back in the day, and he is easier to argue for than George Mikan, but 45% shooting against lesser talent cannot translate well against Horace Grant.
So we get to focus on the David Robinson. Prime Lanier can hang with Robinson like prime T-Mac can hang with Kobe. This isn't some total domination by any means. Robinson is slightly the better of the two, but one man doesn't make a team. With the offense all hanging around within 20 feet of the basket except Chauncey, the inside becomes congested and screens becomes less effective, and it becomes easier to help on defense and recover since no one's going to be a 3-point threat. In fact, percentage-wise, Robinson is the 2nd-best 3-point option in the starting lineup.
So with the definite spacing advantage, I would like to clarify the passing advantage. It's slightly better in the starting lineup, but the bench really changes this thing.
Frazier/Billups
Frazier is more prolific in one of the years, and they are even in the other. Frazier is more of a threat to score, which makes his passing even more dangerous, while Billups is mitigated with the lack of three-point options he's used to (Prince, Sheed, Melo, JR Smith, etc.).
Havlicek/Drexler
Adjusting for the minutes, Havlicek gets half an assist more per 36 minutes than Clyde. That would probably be about even when adjusting for pace (~15 years difference). Clyde turned it over 2.9 times per 36 while it's impossible to tell how much Havlicek would be turning it over, but I imagine it would be about the same as well.
Jones/Dandridge
Dandridge has a 1.4 A/TO ratio. Eddie Jones has a 1.6 A/TO ratio.
Grant/Pettit
Pettit is slightly better until you adjust for pace. Then he's a shade under Grant in assists per 36 minutes.
Lanier/Robinson
Lanier gets 4.1 per 36 minutes. Robinson gets 2.8 per 36 minutes. Lanier has had inconsistent turnover rates across his career, but even with 4 TO's per 36 minutes, he would have an equal A/TO ratio with the Admiral. I don't find that likely, so for these years, Lanier is the better passer than Robinson.
Buse/Richardson
With a CAREER HIGH of 1.9 TO's a game, Don Buse posted a 4.3 A/TO ratio. Micheal Ray Richardson's ratio is HALF that.
Anthony/English
English definitely has the advantage here. 1.5 A/TO ratio to Anthony's 1.0 A/TO ratio.
Stoudemire/Wallace
They are both black holes, so screw it. They have basically the same averages.
So in total, the starting lineup is better by a bit and the bench, just on Buse/Richardson alone is enough to outweight the advantage English has and increase my advantage in passing and taking care of the ball.
THE INTANGIBLES

The formula proves on paper that I will win this battle. I can defend him better than he can defend me and my offense is better than his. I have better rebounding. I have better passing. I create more turnovers. But in case you need more convincing, there's always this to consider:
My star players step it up in the playoffs. Frazier became an assist leader, increased his rebounding average and thrived in clutch situations. Havlicek had his great moments, but his stats increased across the board come playoff time, and he was also a clutch shooter. Bob Lanier dominated the boards and dished out 6.3 assists a game before getting eliminated because Norm Van Lier and Jerry Sloan shut down his teammates. It's the kind of situation David Robinson is facing now.