Hayward

[Xanthis]

by hoops4life on Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:46 am
I can fix CJ's psychological problems...

Don't stand around and jack up three's. Take it to the hole.

There most of CJ's problems are fixed.

Jacking up 3's is an impulse control problem. It's similar to bed wetting.

Seriously!?!

Okay... Every time he shoots a three, I will swat him with the newspaper and rub his nose on the ground into the 3 point line.

Make sure to put some Cayenne pepper on the ground first so he knows you're serious.

[retiredcoach]

by Xanthis on Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:34 am

hoops4life wrote:

retiredcoach wrote:

by hoops4life on Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:46 am
I can fix CJ's psychological problems...

Don't stand around and jack up three's. Take it to the hole.

There most of CJ's problems are fixed.



Jacking up 3's is an impulse control problem. It's similar to bed wetting.



Seriously!?!

Okay... Every time he shoots a three, I will swat him with the newspaper and rub his nose on the ground into the 3 point line.

Well, it sounds like you've confused bed wetting with my dog spot took a dump on the carpet.

I don't think swatting a kid with newspaper and rubbing their noise into the wet sheets would be a socially acceptable treatment for bed wetting or jacking up 3's.

Jacking up 3's and bed wetting are both traits that are inherited and based upon DNA. Maybe CJ had a relative somewhere along the line with impulse control issues.

I don't know what causes CJ's urges to chuck 3's but I know it's hard to get over.

[hoops4life]

I didn't know that jacking up 3's was inherited through DNA. Maybe the team should start doing ancestry checks and DNA testing with their physicals.

[Paper Face]

When I was CJ's age, I would have traded my body for his in milli-second. Then CJ would know what it was like to play with real f***ing handicap.

If all you want grandma flappers, it ain't that difficult. All you have to do is add an order of fried mozzarella sticks to every meal.

[retiredcoach]

by hoops4life on Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:18 pm
I didn't know that jacking up 3's was inherited through DNA. Maybe the team should start doing ancestry checks and DNA testing with their physicals.

I would certainly go along with DNA testing during the predraft interviews. It would have kept the Jazz from drafting Luther Wright, Jose Ortiz and probably Kris Humphries and that's only few of the possibilities.

The problem with DNA testing is it only identifies the tendency to chuck 3's at random times. It doesn't specify the 3PT %.

I would also add IQ testing the Minnesota MuLtiphasic Personality Inventory. That should help find the psychopaths, coach chokers and players that hear what the coach is saying but are too stupid to do it.

Now that I think about it, maybe the league should ask that IQ and MMPI testing become a standard test for all players in the league. That should scare the s**t out of the players association, especially if a minimum IQ score and no personality disorders found were part of contract requirements.

[retiredcoach]

by Paper Face on Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:28 pm

retiredcoach wrote:When I was CJ's age, I would have traded my body for his in milli-second. Then CJ would know what it was like to play with real f***ing handicap.

If all you want grandma flappers, it ain't that difficult. All you have to do is add an order of fried mozzarella sticks to every meal.

A little plastic surgery can take the slap right out of those flappers, and on Tuesday's pinning the ears back is free.