The NBA Franchise Name Game: Baltimore Edition

[Star-Lord]

Inspired by the recent re-branding efforts in New Orleans, my friends and I - drunken buffoons that we are - decided it would be fun to try to come up with names for NBA teams in cities that don't actually have a team. (Why didn't we rename current NBA teams? Because that's stupid. The Lakers will always be the Lakers, even though there's like one and a half lakes in all of southern California. The Jazz will always be the Jazz, even though dancing is illegal after 10pm in Utah.)

Many laughs and nods of agreement were to be had as we spent a good couple of hours knocking back Newcastles and creating franchises out of thin air. Then one of us threw the city of Baltimore out there, and promptly stumped the rest of us. Sure, we were able to come up with the obligatory 'Wire' inspired team names, but when it came down to actually come up with something usable, we all drew a blank.

We all agreed that the Bullets was one of the absolute best team names not just in basketball, but all of sports. We also agreed that there's just no way in hell a team could successfully carry that name today, with national sensitivity to guns and violence being at an all-time high. Way back in the 70's the Memphis Pros of the ABA moved to Baltimore and were originally renamed the Baltimore Hustlers; but the league didn't react favorably and forced the franchise to come up with something different. The team was renamed the Baltimore Claws, inspired by the city's prominent Blue Crab industry. The name Claws has a certain charm to it, as most ABA teams had, but it's hard to imagine that the name would work today. My buddy suggested the Baltimore Blues, but that was rebuked for a myriad of reasons.

Eventually, we moved on to a different inane conversation altogether, but not before we took a second to reflect on the fact that beyond our stupid 'Wire' jokes, we couldn't really come up with anything for Baltimore; bad names were even a struggle. I think it's definitely safe to say that my friends and I really don't know s**t about the area at all.

So, I figured if I wanted an answer, I should broach the subject with those that would probably know best, or at least a lot better than myself and my burnout buddies. Here's where I leave it to you fine folks. What would the name of Baltimore's new NBA franchise be?

[montestewart]

The Bombs Bursting in Air
The Constellations
The Black Cats, Conquerors Worms, Masques of Red Death, Purloined Letters, etc.
The Aquaria
The Tunnels
The Sip & Bites

[Star-Lord]

Damn those Ravens for taking the easiest Poe related team name.

Perhaps the Baltimore Lake Trout?

[mohammed10]

Hold all calls, I have the winner...








....




wait for it...





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TROPICS!

Game. Set. Match.

[bulletproof_32]

The Natty Boh's of Balmer, Hon.

[Star-Lord]

The Natty Boh's of Balmer, Hon.

Every game broadcast will require subtitles, which would be hilarious.

[mohammed10]

The Natty Boh's of Balmer, Hon.

Every game broadcast will require subtitles, which would be hilarious.

[Nivek]

Baltimore Breakers

[FAH1223]

Sensitivities?

There can only be 1.

Baltimore Bullets, duh.

[Star-Lord]

Breakers certainly isn't a bad name. a quick Google search reveals that there's a fairly prominent lacrosse club in Baltimore that shares the name. I didn't know Maryland had such an affinity for lacrosse. Could a nod to the rich history of a different sport work for a basketball team' s name? I suppose. The Baltimore Colts pulled it off.

[Soup's Uncle]

Baltimore Barksdales.

[fishercob]

Baltimore Barksdales.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Barksdale

Donald Angelo "Don" Barksdale (March 31, 1923 – March 8, 1993) was an American professional basketball player. He was a pioneer with as an African-American basketball player, becoming the first to be named NCAA All-American, the first to play on a United States men's Olympic basketball team, and the first to play in an National Basketball Association All-Star Game. He was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.

Yes, as in D. Angelo Barksdale or "Deangelo Barksdale."

In 1951, he signed a lucrative contract with the Baltimore Bullets and entered the NBA as a 28-year-old rookie. He would be one of the first African-Americans to play in the NBA after Nathaniel Clifton, Chuck Cooper, Earl Lloyd and Hank DeZonie had joined the league in 1950. While with the Bullets, he became the first African-American to appear in an NBA All-Star Game, in 1953.[2] Shortly afterward, he was traded to the Boston Celtics. Two years later, his playing career was cut short by ankle injuries.[3]

David Simon (or his father?) was apparently a big Baltimore BUllets fan and named Deangelo after Don in tribute.

[fugop]

crab dribblers

[AFM]

Baltimore Body Mores

[Wes_Tiny_Abe_]

I love Baltimore.

[Star-Lord]

^ I knew this thread would deliver.

[daSwami]

Baltimore Pink Flamingos (John Waters reference)
or
The Baltimore Wire

[Higga]

The Baltimore Wire

[Wes_Tiny_Abe_]

How about?

SUPER BOWL WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!