Leo Rautins Has Hit Rock Bottom

[jim rockford]

good thread...

i think it's time to have an ex-raptor on broadcast team. start slowly. a few games or 2nd color commentator for awhile??

[Birth of the Cool]

nice work in this thread The Main Event. I like how you incorporate someone suddenly whipping their head around in each of your stories. That's like your signature style...nice nice lol.

back to Leo, dude is funny as heck. Apparently you can never miss a shot or you are doing something wrong. Heck before he used to say a blocked shot out of bounds was dumb since it's better to keep the ball in play and keep possession...now that T-Ross blocks Lee's shot off the backboard and keeps it in play it's still not enough...now you are playing D wrong if you even have to attempt a block....I swore I heard a loud grumble for the tunnel & was ready to see Dikembe rush out and slam a chair against Leo's back; Dikembe made a living letting guys get enough room to think they could get a bucket so he could track the ball for blocks.

Next thing you know if a Raps player plays great defense with his feet and forces the offensive player to pass the ball back out, Leo will say sure that's ok but really if he was playing fundamental defense he wouldn't even have allowed the offensive player to receive the pass from his teammate.

[macketeer]

the stories are true...here's the picture for proof...I think MainEvent is the last guy in the line-up shown here...this would substantiate his story I would think.

[torsport]

Hmmmm,

Who is the one that's hit rock bottom?

I'm hoping this is mostly fan fiction. The alternative is certainly disturbing.

Either way the stories are quite amusing had gave me a good laugh.

Sort of like watching the British Office, akward, uncomfortable humor at its best. What sells it is the author portrays himself as being oblivious.

[BirdmanPresents]

I'm starting a petition for a "The Main Event bedtime stories thread". Real or not, it doesn't matter they are hilarious.

[lobosloboslobos]

the stories are true...here's the picture for proof...I think MainEvent is the last guy in the line-up shown here...this would substantiate his story I would think.

Yeah I can confirm it too. I'm the woman in the middle. He followed me back to my car and when i whipped my head around he was already in the backseat squeezed up against the orange juice. So I punched him in the lip and he bled all over the upholstery. Then when I got the security guards at the store to escort him out the tall guy at the front of the line in the picture stopped to kick him in the nuts. I didn't really mind but then that guy hit on me (invited me back to some girl named Andrea's place) so I hit the gas and almost ran him over. All that for some orange juice.

[dat90zKiD]

I wish we had a REAL commentator who actually speaks interesting material (AKA JALEN ROSE ANYONE?!?!)


I WISH we had Jalen Rose working for our organization.

[arbsn]

That Davis cup story was face palming bad. Hes so full of himself its terrible.

I need to start muting the TV when Leo is doing play-by-play

[BirdmanPresents]

Validation of the Sherm story, OP actually got a pic with him:

[LAUGHING]

Fake or not these stories are

[whysoserious]

I wish we had a REAL commentator who actually speaks interesting material (AKA JALEN ROSE ANYONE?!?!)


I WISH we had Jalen Rose working for our organization.

Jalen would be awesome on colour, have real NBA stories to share, played for the Raptors and you know, maybe add some colour. But it ain't happening. Dude has a great gig at ESPN.

If I was going ex-Raptors it would be in this order....Jalen Rose, Charles Oakley (another not likely to happen), Morris Peterson, Dell Curry (though I'm not sure what he's up to).

[Gold Chain]

I once ran into Leo at the Longos at MLS. I gave it the friendly, "Hey Leo!. He gives it the head whip, and the nod, but zero smile. Like he was too cool to smile at person acknowledging his presence in this world.
Anyways, I continue with my grocery shop when half way through, as fate would have it, I come into the same aisle at Leo who is inspecting items as he pulls them from the shelf. I subtely creep closer to him with my kart. Without making eye contact I tell him in a low voice that im a big fan. Startled, he whips his head at me and tells me to more or less go **** myself. I realized that he had taken my comment in the low tone in a creepy manner so i frantically began to explain how i had only said it like that so as not to attract the attention of other unknowing passerbys. SO at this point he is wheeling his cart down the aisle faster then normal, when i literally yell out at the top of my lungs, `HEY EVERYBODY! ITS LEO RAUTINS!!` He freezes in his tracks, gives it the slow look around and realizes nobody has heard nor cared.

This guy has an ego the size of a watermelon and his commentating if reflective of this.

Yeah, it is a lonely life for a bachelor.

Next time, be more forward.

Let Leo know your carnal intentions right off the bat.

No need to play coy.

[Kurtz]

Sarcasm and irony are not synonymous. Sarcasm can and often does employ irony; it didn't, however, in this case. An ironic expression is an expression whose literal meaning is the opposite of its intended meaning, i.e. the meaning the speaker intended to convey.

Thus, assuming the stories are made up, and for the reason you say, if what he were saying was said ironically, then his intended meaning would be that Leo (and LeBron etc..) are actually great guys. That clearly wouldn't be the intended meaning of such a display, though; the intended meaning would be, as you say, just that we're morons and need to settle down. In other words, in this case it would be mockery, sarcasm, etc. but not irony.

No, Sakic has it right. Irony is a satirical device. MainEvent's satirical piece employed Irony as it's satirical device. It wasn't mockery, because mockery is explicit...and sarcasm is just a form of Irony.

Main's telling the tale where he describes Leo, etc as the terrible evils, but the implication is that the Fans are the problem, and not these celebs. Brilliant use of Irony.

[wolfv]

the stories are true...here's the picture for proof...I think MainEvent is the last guy in the line-up shown here...this would substantiate his story I would think.

I love that MainEvent's only buying toilet paper

[TorontoBaller]

My problem is I want to watch basketball.

NOT the Matt and Leo show.

I hate their constant yammering.

If burns me when Leo says "as a coach I..."

You're not a coach!
You were given an opportunity and you blew it.

I'd pay $100/season for a 2 minute intro to each quarter and just whistles/horns and sneaker-chirps.

I want to watch basketball.

[PdiC]

One time I saw Leo and called him by the wrong name. He glared daggers through me.

Mainevent those stories can't be real dude.

I have to ask. What did you call him?

[The_Hater]

I once ran into Leo at the Longos at MLS. I gave it the friendly, "Hey Leo!. He gives it the head whip, and the nod, but zero smile. Like he was too cool to smile at person acknowledging his presence in this world.
Anyways, I continue with my grocery shop when half way through, as fate would have it, I come into the same aisle at Leo who is inspecting items as he pulls them from the shelf. I subtely creep closer to him with my kart. Without making eye contact I tell him in a low voice that im a big fan. Startled, he whips his head at me and tells me to more or less go **** myself. I realized that he had taken my comment in the low tone in a creepy manner so i frantically began to explain how i had only said it like that so as not to attract the attention of other unknowing passerbys. SO at this point he is wheeling his cart down the aisle faster then normal, when i literally yell out at the top of my lungs, `HEY EVERYBODY! ITS LEO RAUTINS!!` He freezes in his tracks, gives it the slow look around and realizes nobody has heard nor cared.

This guy has an ego the size of a watermelon and his commentating if reflective of this.

Holy crap buddy, I know you're trying to make Leo look bad but you're freakin weird.

[JWiLL02]

I went to Leo's basketball camp when I was younger (my coach at the time was an instructor). It was hilarious to hear him preach about team basketball, trusting your team mates, etc. as being the most important aspect of the game, then turn around and play in the coaches game like the biggest blackhole I've ever seen.

Every possession he'd post up and back down, attempting either a hook or a fadeaway with little success. It was hilarious to watch, he didn't pass the ball a single time in 20+ minutes.

[KnickerBonkerz]

This thread upsets me only because I just came here to make a thread about the basketball media in Toronto, but now that this is here it would probably get merged.

Anyways, Leo has been crankin out the memes every game he's done this year. Personal favs from last night:

"Here's the thing about Andrea Bargnani, he's a basketball player."

"I had the priveledge of playing with Dr J, and Rudy Gay just has that smoothness"

"Blocking shots just means you're a bad defender"

*after Barbosa made shot* "I saw that first hand coaching against Brazil"


Devlin HAS to be sick of it. You can tell it in his voice. There was one point where Leo interrupted him and then went "oh sorry Matt, go ahead" and Devlin just flat out went "No." lmao! Him and Leo have absolutely no chemistry and it's the total opposite when he does the game with Jack. When Leo disagrees with Matt he basically tells him he's wrong, why HE is right and relates it somehow to him coaching or playing in the NBA.

[Inevitable]

I went to Leo's basketball camp when I was younger (my coach at the time was an instructor). It was hilarious to hear him preach about team basketball, trusting your team mates, etc. as being the most important aspect of the game, then turn around and play in the coaches game like the biggest blackhole I've ever seen.

Every possession he'd post up and back down, attempting either a hook or a fadeaway with little success. It was hilarious to watch, he didn't pass the ball a single time in 20+ minutes.

Reminds me of the '(ex) Pro's' that come to play scrimmages, they try to prove their worth but often play terrible.