Met Greivis Vasquez Last Week

The Main Event · Post #1 » by **The Main Event** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:22 pm

So as some of you may know, I've had a couple of run ins with NBA players in the past. It's usually completely random but this time it wasn't. I'm a longstanding Raps fan and follow a couple of them on instagram. I was in Florida for business over the past month and noticed (through instagram creeping) that Greivis Vasquez was in Orlando as well as in Miami. So I did a bit more creeping and found out what part of the beach in South Beach he had been running drills at. A week ago today I left my hotel (Fountain Bleau) and headed over to the section I was hoping that he'd return to. No luck. I lay out on the beach all day people watching but no GV.

The next day, I did the same thing (I had 3 days off of work as meetings were delayed). Sure enough, I saw him rolling onto the beach with a much smaller black dude at about 9:30am. It was an overcast day in the middle of the week and not many people were on the beach.

They began his training routine and I just lay there on my towel watching, waiting, and thinking about how I was going to introduce myself and hopefully get into their circle. As I was laying there, I noticed 2 smoking hot chicks laying about 10 feet from me. I instantly thought to myself, "if I roll up with these two chicks, he'll associate me with being a dude with a network of babes and potentially want to exchange numbers." So I mustered up the courage, walked over to the girls and said, "hey girls! you fans of the nba?" One of the girls lifted her shades and looked up at me from her beach towel and sort of spat at the sand by my feet. I realized I must have accidentally kicked a bit of sand into her face. Her friend replied, "hell ya! Go Heat!" I then replied, "come over and meet my buddy Greivis Vasquez from the Raptors. He's right over there and wants to meet you girls." They both instantly head whipped in the direction I was pointing and saw GV beginning his training.

As we walked towards Grevisis and got within about 10 feet, I yelled out, "YO!! GV!!!" and outstretched my arms as if I knew him. I figured that him seeing an excited fan with a big smile on his face and two babes beside him would be met with positive vibes. Sure enough, he stopped what he was doing, looked up, smiled back and went, "whattup my man?" and walked over and gave me a big slap on the hand and a pull in for the brotherly hug. I said, " I want you to meet these two lovely ladies....what were your names again?" they introduced themselves and you could tell by his body language that he was LOVING IT. I start talking to his training partner for a bit. I look over and see him exchanging numbers with the girls. I thought "dammit! now he has no use for me." So I casually jogged over and said, "we all rollin out tnite?!" GV replied, "I dunno bruh, I gotta take it easy. what you girls thinkin?"

Just as he says this, and im not even joking, I tried to push out a tiny fart and ended up sharting in my bathing suit. I couldn't even believe it. I hadn't sharted since I was a kid. I'm listening to the girls talk and I see GV's nose give a very subtle twitch. He turns back and looks at his training partner and kinds of furrows his brow and goes "yo did you fart dawg?" He training partner goes "nah man." He looks over at me and goes "did you fart dawg?" I go, "nah man. yo do you still keep in touch with KD?" He goes, "ya man we text back and forth all the time. Yo what the **** is that smell man. Aite im gonna catch you guys later." and turned around and walked away.

The girls look at me like "what the **** was that?" I go "lets exchange numbers and we'll all roll out later." So they gave me their numbers. I wrote them later that night and never got a response. Not sure if they ended up meeting up with GV or not. Pretty sure the sharting ruined me.

Had I not sharted GV and I would potentially have rolled out with these girls and I would've made friends with an NBA player. Miami food ruined me.

mrmsix6 · Post #2 » by **mrmsix6** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:26 pm

So, is this just a roundabout way of admitting to being a stalker?

:lol:

jirojan · Post #3 » by **jirojan** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:29 pm

Sluggerface · Post #4 » by **Sluggerface** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:30 pm

mrmsix6 wrote:So, is this just a roundabout way of admitting to being a stalker?

Raps fans are becoming a condition.

Sadrak · Post #5 » by **Sadrak** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:33 pm

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh2Nu2aTPP0[/youtube]

phillybird · Post #6 » by **phillybird** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:33 pm

Amazing

Mr Burns · Post #7 » by **Mr Burns** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:33 pm

so you waited at the beach two days in a row just to see vasquez work out.......

bruh

MrLutareio · Post #8 » by **MrLutareio** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:35 pm

Guys he has other stories like this. He's joking. I love your stories man, they're funny af.

Post #9 » by **yosemiteben** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:37 pm

The surprise shart. Did not see it coming.

Lebrizzy · Post #10 » by **Lebrizzy** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:39 pm

The Main Event wrote:I just lay there on my towel watching, waiting, and thinking about how I was going to introduce myself and hopefully get into their circle.

InFlames · Post #11 » by **InFlames** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:41 pm

rockersdash · Post #12 » by **rockersdash** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:52 pm

Nice imagination

The Warrior · Post #13 » by **The Warrior** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:00 pm

You're the same guy that created the thread about meeting Spencer Hawes and your brother texted a picture of his testicles to him. :lol:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1290266

Funny threads but GTFO with your fake stories lol.

dorkestra · Post #14 » by **dorkestra** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:14 pm

love your sense of humor and enjoy these stories. keep em coming please.

Canada_7 · Post #15 » by **Canada_7** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:22 pm

I still think the "Matrix Championship" story from the Raptors board beats this.

All I remember from that one was something along the lines of "Voskill [reference to Raptors legend Jake Voskuhl] come into washroom and hug matrix 'welcome to dinosaur championship time" or something.

sca · Post #16 » by **sca** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:27 pm

Canada_7 wrote:I still think the "Matrix Championship" story from the Raptors board beats this.

All I remember from that one was something along the lines of "Voskill [reference to Raptors legend Jake Voskuhl] come into washroom and hug matrix 'welcome to dinosaur championship time" or something.

Maytricks Championship

PKABOOICU · Post #17 » by **PKABOOICU** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:35 pm

too many things had to go right for this to be true, from actually tracking down vasquez to actually sharting, and everything inbetween. sharting is probably harder than finding vasquez though cuz you have the social media to track down stars but it takes a lot of internal butt power and the urge to potty and fart at the same exact time to actually shart

...c.a.p... · Post #18 » by **...c.a.p...** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:36 pm

sca wrote:
Canada_7 wrote:I still think the "Matrix Championship" story from the Raptors board beats this.

All I remember from that one was something along the lines of "Voskill [reference to Raptors legend Jake Voskuhl] come into washroom and hug matrix 'welcome to dinosaur championship time" or something.

Maytricks Championship

Forget Raptor board HOF.

This thread is RealGM HOF worthy. I'm not even joking. No green font. How a thread that is five years old can still conjure up memories of when you first read it is beyond me.

BigFatBob · Post #19 » by **BigFatBob** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:43 pm

LOL! Good read! PM me those girls number.

Illmatic12 · Post #20 » by **Illmatic12** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:24 pm

Bro i am crying in the library