Game Thread #7: Orlando Magic (2-4) @ Philadelphia 76ers (0-5) 11/7 7PM ET

Post #1 » by **SOUL** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 7:03 am

(Brett Brown reading a box score)

PHILADELPHIA "THERE IS NO ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM GUYS, CALM DOWN" 76ERS

JAHLIL OKAFOR - 19.8 PPG / 5.6 RPG .53 FG% 78 FT%

Man, you're a terrible voice actor in NBA 2K16 - it was as if you were reading off a cue card from some nervous /r/nba intern. I know Mississippi isn't known for producing poets laureate and you came straight to the NBA from High School, but at least put some energy int.... oh. That was my Al Jefferson schtick. Right right. If this guy isn't the face of inspiration, I don't know who is. Just look at him. He has the same facial features of Tim Duncan after losing in the semi-finals of a Magic the Gathering tournament. This big guy can score though -- has a few nifty moves in his stomach. The world is his Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuit offensively in Philadelphia, which he can't really complain about as a rookie. But Jahlil Okafor playing in Philadelphia is the physical manifestation of something that shouldn't actually exist... like Dark matter, The Holy Grail, or the final season of Dexter. You think that for all of the center stealing that the Lakers love to do, they wouldn't have let this boy go and parade around in The "Bank Whom Shall Not Be Named" Center.

NERLENS NOEL - 14.2 PPG / 11.0 RPG .43 FG% 60 FT%

Code: Select all

Beep. Boop.

I am Nerlens ...

Scanning For Enemy . . .

Noel. I am Nerlens Noel. I am Nerlens Noel. I am Nerlens Noel.

Scavenging for Items . . .

(1x Robotic Leg Found)

(2x Flask Full of Shirley Temples)

(1x Memory Wipe USB - firstseasonofnba.txt)

Programmed Voice Message:

Hello? This is Embiid. I'm stuck inside of Noel. Like Krang from Ninja Turtles. Well, I harvest his body now. It's a weird feeling to have a working foot. I live completely off of Shirley Temples and the occasional trash he likes to eat for some reason. I never thought my life would turn out like this... but it sure beats failed sexting attempts with Twitter celebrities. Anyway, gotta go. Catch you l8er. 

Yours Truly, 

We All From Africa

JERAMI GRANT - 8.8 PPG / 4.8 RPG .39 FG% 76 FT%

Did you know this real guys name is Houston? Houston Grant. And his brother Jerian's real name is Holdyn. I don't know if I'm wearing Horace sized goggles, but why in the hell would you ever preferred to be called Jerami over Houston?

Hm, now that I think about it, this is the only other Houston I've heard of:

"Before a 2005 London show, Houston suffered an emotional breakdown and reportedly tried to commit suicide by jumping from a window while reportedly under the influence of PCP. When people in his entourage stopped him, he was restrained and locked in a first floor room. While in that room, Houston gouged his left eye out with a plastic fork."

Alright, good move young man.

SAUCE "NIK STAUSKAS" CASTILLO - 13.8 PPG / 4.3 RPG .30 FG% 90 FT%

HACKED HAH I TOLD U U IDIOTS PAYTON SUUUUUUUUUUCKS, NIK RULES. NIK ROCKS HE IS CLEARLY A PLAYER OF THE NBA 3.0. FOLLOW MY DAUGHTER ON TWITTER https://twitter.com/anjaliworld

Tiny Timothy "T.J." McConnell - 5.4 PPG / 4 RPG / 7.2 APG .52 FG% 50 3PT%

Who the **** is this guy? Where did he come from? Bowling Green? He looks like he'd be a backup meth cook on Breaking Bad. Backup Meth Cook, Starting Point Guard. What a pitch. Print out the shirts. This definitely seems like a guy that will disappear from the league in about 3 years, make his way through the college coaching system and become a nice NBA coach. I'm calling it now. But for now, just beat this little tiny human into the court. We can't have him averaging those numbers. Come on, man.

****************************

(Air Bud = Any other team in the clutch)

ORLANDO "WHAT HALFTIME LEAD?" MAGIC

DEWAYNE DEDMON - 5.2 PPG 5.4 RPG .47% FG .66 FT%

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkmI-NyEw5I[/youtube]

TOBIAS HARRIS - 16.8 PPG 8.3 RPG .50% FG .77 FT%

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5posU08HjXg[/youtube]

EVAN FOURNIER - 19 PPG 4.3 RPG .45% FG .33% 3PT

https://vimeo.com/64024034

VICTOR OLADIPO - 16.5 PPG 8 RPG 4.8 APG 38% FG .26% 3PT

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zbw3KzgHBU[/youtube]

Ever shot a free throw? (nope)
Ever been the hero? (yup)
Ever grew a neck? (nope)
Ever got a tech? (yup)
You a Cav? (nope)
You ever draw a clear path? (yup)
Let Frye hold a few dollars? (nope)
Was Jameer Nelson like a father? (yup)
Get foul calls being a faker? (nope)
Ever dunk on the Lakers? (yup)
You a loser? (nope)
Winner? (ehhhh)
Vaughn'? (nope)
Skiles? (yup)

ELFRID PAYTON - 7 PPG 3.7 RPG 5.8 APG 31% FG .30% 3PT

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY[/youtube]

ivDT · Post #2 » by **ivDT** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 7:08 am

good game thread. i likeded it.

MagicStarwipe · Post #3 » by **MagicStarwipe** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 8:52 am

I hereby petition that SOUL do every game thread from here on out.

RookieStar · Post #4 » by **RookieStar** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 9:48 am

LOL.. I love your GT especially after a win!

Post #5 » by **Bensational** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 9:49 am

MagicStarwipe wrote:I hereby petition that SOUL do every game thread from here on out.

And we don't call them game threads anymore, now it's "The SOUL Patch".

ORLMagicGirl15 · Post #6 » by **ORLMagicGirl15** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 11:33 am

Before we go around and declare one person for the game thread maker, I want to say that OrlandO does an amazing job with his. Very informative, I enjoy the tidbits and tweets. But, sticking to tradition we should stick with whoever feel like and have time to do these game threads.

AddiFB · Post #7 » by **AddiFB** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 12:19 pm

I just want to win, dammit!

pogiro · Post #8 » by **pogiro** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 12:42 pm

To my fault, I have no patience to read, I'm sure it's great. But great picture of Stauskas, hahaha. "Stauskas? Stauskas? Stauskas?... Stauskas."

Post #9 » by **Bensational** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 12:46 pm

ORLMagicGirl15 wrote:Before we go around and declare one person for the game thread maker, I want to say that OrlandO does an amazing job with his. Very informative, I enjoy the tidbits and tweets. But, sticking to tradition we should stick with whoever feel like and have time to do these game threads.

oh hell yeah, OrlandO does a great job of GT's, too. i appreciate everyone who takes the time to make one, cos i don't think i ever have the time/inclination.

Nyce_1 · Post #10 » by **Nyce_1** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 1:17 pm

Trap game. Good teams beat who they're supposed to beat..... home or away.

tooler · Post #11 » by **tooler** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 1:35 pm

The mental game challenges keep coming.

drsd · Post #12 » by **drsd** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 2:19 pm

This is a key test for Orlando. Winning a huge game, it is critical to take out a lower opponent. A loss in this game would, well, be the worse loss of the year.

3ddman23 · Post #13 » by **3ddman23** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 3:26 pm

As we all know this is a must win game.. but don't be fooled it's going to be like every other game this season down to the wire... cause that just how the magic roll... I hope to God we win this game!!! Go magic

TheShoe1010 · Post #14 » by **TheShoe1010** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 4:30 pm

I'm very interested to see how we come out after the win against Toronto. This is the first game of the young season in which we are favored (Vegas has us -4), and we are coming off of a huge win against an undefeated team.

Good teams win the games that they are supposed to win. I am going to be very encouraged if we come out firing tonight and put this game away like we should.

It feels weird to say that an early November game against the 76ers is a big game, but I think this will tell us a lot about where we are as a team.

j_n · Post #15 » by **j_n** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 4:42 pm

The Sixers are looking for their first win, they looked good in their last 3 games against the cavs and Bucks, its not an easy team to beat, especially with Vuc out and Dedmon matching with Okafor.

tooler · Post #16 » by **tooler** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 4:51 pm

Yeah they shot well last night. I'm sure the Cavs were on cruise control, but we don't have the luxury to do the same.

Post #17 » by **Def Swami** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 4:59 pm

I think this would be an easy win if we had Vucevic. Might be a dog fight now. If the Magic continue to defend at a high level, they'll get a W, but it may not be pretty.

Magic_Johnny12 · Post #18 » by **Magic_Johnny12** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 5:31 pm

Shot in the dark...

Anyone live in Philly/NYC area that want's to meet up for the game?

Post #19 » by **Def Swami** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 5:31 pm

[tweet]https://twitter.com/JoshuaBRobbins/status/663045142572638208[/tweet]
Against the likes of the NBA's elite too. Skiles has held true to the commitment of becoming an elite defensive team so far and that's extremely encouraging despite 2-4 start.

tooler · Post #20 » by **tooler** » Sat Nov 7, 2015 5:43 pm

I gotta assume that discrepancy is due to fouling.

I'm okay with that for now. Establish the intensity first. You can always dial back the fouls.

We've also faced some good offenses. I bet some of the teams ahead of us in defensive efficiency will fade. We're at a rate that would've been #1 last season.