Official Ted Leonsis Appreciation Thread

[milellie111]

I think Ted deserves credit for sticking to the plan, enduring hardship/critcism by the fans, retaining Grunfeld who is responsible for the wonderful state this franchise is in including the atmosphere at Verizon Center. The Wizards are well built, well coached (coach of the year candidate), have a couple of homegrown all stars, traded for a potential Sixth Man of the Year (Lou Williams who??!!), and some great offseason signings.

The Washington Wizards are championship contenders.

Thank You Ted

[BigA]

I think Ted deserves credit for sticking to the plan, enduring hardship/critcism by the fans, retaining Grunfeld who is responsible for the wonderful state this franchise is in including the atmosphere at Verizon Center. The Wizards are well built, well coached (coach of the year candidate), have a couple of homegrown all stars, traded for a potential Sixth Man of the Year (Lou Williams who??!!), and some great offseason signings.

The Washington Wizards are championship contenders.

Thank You Ted

You have old threads you can find and bump rather than start new ones that will likely be locked. Just sayin'.

[AFM]

Quick rundown on Ted Leonsis

-Rothschilds bow to Leonsis
-In contact with aliens
-Possess psychic-like abilities
-Controls DC with an iron but fair fist
-Owns castles & banks globally
-Direct descendant of the ancient royal blood line
-Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Leonsisgrad will be be the first city)
-Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
-First designer babies will in all likelihood be Leonsis babies
-said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
-Ancient Indian scriptures tell of an angel who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with him
-He owns Nanobot R&D labs around the world
-You likely have Leonsisbots inside you right now
-The Leonsises are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Leonsis bunker in Wilkes land?
-He learned fluent French in under a week
-Nation states entrust their gold reserves with Leonsis. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Leonsis
-Leonsis is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
-In reality, he is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet. We hope he is a benevolent being.

[AFM]

That's just a basic gestalt.

[BigA]

Quick rundown on Ted Leonsis

-Rothschilds bow to Leonsis
-In contact with aliens
-Possess psychic-like abilities
-Controls DC with an iron but fair fist
-Owns castles & banks globally
-Direct descendant of the ancient royal blood line
-Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Leonsisgrad will be be the first city)
-Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
-First designer babies will in all likelihood be Leonsis babies
-said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
-Ancient Indian scriptures tell of an angel who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with him
-He owns Nanobot R&D labs around the world
-You likely have Leonsisbots inside you right now
-The Leonsises are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Leonsis bunker in Wilkes land?
-He learned fluent French in under a week
-Nation states entrust their gold reserves with Leonsis. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Leonsis
-Leonsis is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
-In reality, he is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet. We hope he is a benevolent being.

He's more like a character in classic science fiction (Heinlein, Asimov) than a real person.

[long suffrin' boulez fan]

Quick rundown on Ted Leonsis

-Rothschilds bow to Leonsis
-In contact with aliens
-Possess psychic-like abilities
-Controls DC with an iron but fair fist
-Owns castles & banks globally
-Direct descendant of the ancient royal blood line
-Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Leonsisgrad will be be the first city)
-Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
-First designer babies will in all likelihood be Leonsis babies
-said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
-Ancient Indian scriptures tell of an angel who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with him
-He owns Nanobot R&D labs around the world
-You likely have Leonsisbots inside you right now
-The Leonsises are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Leonsis bunker in Wilkes land?
-He learned fluent French in under a week
-Nation states entrust their gold reserves with Leonsis. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Leonsis
-Leonsis is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
-In reality, he is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet. We hope he is a benevolent being.

Immediate HOF post

[BigA]

Ted has raised season ticket prices so high in order to finance Leonsisgrad and other Mars colonies.

[AFM]

It's a meme bruh

[MikeTheKid]

I cant with this thread already lmaooooooooooooooo

[long suffrin' boulez fan]

It's a meme bruh

That's excellent. I don't know what a meme is.

[BigA]

via Imgflip Meme Generator

[AFM]

Ted owns major stock in Sazerac Corporation, producer of Fireball Whiskey. Has quietly hired "Dat2U" to subversively guerilla market the product on various armchair GM message boards (wizards fans are notorious alcoholics)

[BigA]

This is in an article that's mostly about Scott Brooks:

"Ted Leonsis, the team’s majority owner, says that focusing institutionally on the importance of things like sleep and hydration are one way to jockey for an edge in professional sports."

[payitforward]

Ted has raised season ticket prices so high in order to finance Leonsisgrad and other Mars colonies.

Better watch out, tho -- what if he moves the Wizards to Leonsisgrad? First NBA team on Mars.

I can't remember, is it easier to dunk on Mars than on Earth or harder? While I'm at it, is it easier to think of Ernie as a gifted GM on Mars than on Earth or harder? Well... I guess it really can't be harder! So it would have to be easier.

In that case, I'm really worried! Ernie is probably already pushing to move the team to Mars where he'll look better.

Hmmm, how about a slight alteration in that plan? Team stays here, but Ernie goes to Mars!

[long suffrin' boulez fan]

Ted has raised season ticket prices so high in order to finance Leonsisgrad and other Mars colonies.

Better watch out, tho -- what if he moves the Wizards to Leonsisgrad? First NBA team on Mars.

I can't remember, is it easier to dunk on Mars than on Earth or harder? While I'm at it, is it easier to think of Ernie as a gifted GM on Mars than on Earth or harder? Well... I guess it really can't be harder! So it would have to be easier.

In that case, I'm really worried! Ernie is probably already pushing to move the team to Mars where he'll look better.

Hmmm, how about a slight alteration in that plan? Team stays here, but Ernie goes to Mars!

I like it.

[BigA]

Ted has raised season ticket prices so high in order to finance Leonsisgrad and other Mars colonies.

Better watch out, tho -- what if he moves the Wizards to Leonsisgrad? First NBA team on Mars.

I can't remember, is it easier to dunk on Mars than on Earth or harder? While I'm at it, is it easier to think of Ernie as a gifted GM on Mars than on Earth or harder? Well... I guess it really can't be harder! So it would have to be easier.

In that case, I'm really worried! Ernie is probably already pushing to move the team to Mars where he'll look better.

Hmmm, how about a slight alteration in that plan? Team stays here, but Ernie goes to Mars!

Ted will threaten to move the team to Mars to extort a new arena out of DC.

[BigA]

I do sympathize with Ted right now, with both his teams in first place, and the media totally focused on the Redskins.