Hammond to ORL: Confirmed by ownership

[HKPackFan]

If Zanik was a shoo-in they'd have announced him already.

Be worried.

I am worried for sure. But I also have some irrational hope they pull something bigger and better off.

Has someone posted, MTC yet?

[HKPackFan]

He's so mature for being only 29 years old. Nice touch Thon.

[trwi7]

Spoiler:

Can you or someone retell the Hammond Penny story? I can't remember exactly how that happened.

Gather 'round children and let me tell the tale of Trader John.

John was born in the faraway land of Zion, Illinois. Not only does part of its border touch Wisconsin but it's also really close to Six Flags Great America. When John retires from basketball he will be the old Six Flags dancing guy but that's not why we're here today.

*throws cocaine on the fire and tells children it's magic dust*

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away called Detroit John got a phone call from a mysterious number. It turns out it was Herb Kohl. Herb had just fired a snake that was in the grass that he had named Larry Harris. Larry Harris was a bad snake because he kept killing all the rodents that were eating the bags of oats that Herb left for them. Herb needed a nicer snake and heard that John Hammond was getting rave reviews and could also run his floundering basketball team.

Hammond, excited to get out of Detroit decided to accept the job and worked hard to not only build a basketball team but also build a home where all rodents could come and stay rent free away from the dangers of those dastardly coyotes and harassing hawks.

While the basketball team continued to flounder, the construction of Mouse House was going up in record time. By 2010, nearly one million mice had taken up occupancy with hopes of adding a million more mice per year, which is no problem with how much they ****.

As the years went on the Mouse House continued to boom while the Bucks continued to languish in mediocrity. Finally, Trader John came up with an idea to help the team. A combination of black magic, voodoo and deceit. John had known for years that Herb wanted his basketball team to be competitive, to make as many playoff appearances as possible. Hammond knew in order to improve the team, they would need to be at the top of the lottery and despite being in the lottery several times, John was far too talented to bring the team near the top.

John put a voodoo spell on Herb in the beginning of the season guaranteeing his job security no matter how many losses piled up. John used black magic to make a ball that was 3 feet off target by Spencer Hawes curve back and into the basket.

The black magic and voodoo was used at various times throughout the year, though wasn't needed as much as John thought as he had assembled a truly awful team. They were the Monstars before they stole the NBA players' talent except without the ray guns.

By the end of the season his Bucks had finished with the worst record in the NBA! The best odds at winning the lottery but only 25%? "That's not enough!" shouted John. Fearing he had used up everything he knew in regards to voodoo and black magic, John had to search high and low for a new advantage. What could that be? Who knew more? How would he get in contact with this person?

An anonymous tip led him to a mysterious number. While John doesn't know how to make outgoing calls, he was able to find someone on the street to help. An answer! On the other line was a man telling him to meet at an abandoned warehouse. "Don't bring anyone", said the mysterious voice as he hung up.

Intrigued and slightly turned on, John met later that week at the abandoned warehouse, just like the mysterious voice said. Not wanting to be rude, John made an apple pie, hoping that if they weren't going to eat it, he would at least get the chance to **** it.

This voice was familiar but the stranger was dressed with sunglasses, a ski mask and a trench coat. John could not identify the man. "You will find out who I am in due time."

The stranger called an Uber. Both he and John got in. A short 5 minute ride and they arrived at a quaint diner in a gritty part of town. The took a corner table away from the lunch rush and sat. "I'll have the cheeseburger!" John excitedly shouted. The stranger asked if they put a spicy or dijon mustard on the cheeseburger. The waitress said no. The stranger replied "Thanks, Obama! I'll have the BLT then."

During the two hour lunch, the stranger taught John more black magic and voodoo the likes of which he never knew existed. The #1 pick was a certainty at this point in John's mind.

Walking out the door the stranger stumbled upon a penny. "Just to guarantee it. Why don't you grab that lucky penny?" Needing every ounce of luck he could get, John quickly snapped up the penny. "Good boy. Until we meet again, John." The stranger then quickly took off his sunglasses revealing his cold, steely eyes. The ski mask came next to reveal the face of one Tony La Russa, the biggest cock bag in MLB. "Of course!" Hammond exclaimed. "Who else could it have been other than the biggest **** stain in professional sports." La Russa, proud of being able to keep his identity sealed ripped off his trench coat to reveal the goatse'd **** stretched to its limit through years of self abuse.

John rubbed the penny and then his nipples every day until the lottery. When the day finally came John himself was not on stage. That was a new owner's daughter. John was furiously trying to work his voodoo and black magic on the new owners so he could keep his job while simultaneously rubbing the penny. John was worried the owners would notice the fidgeting of his hand. His solution was to wear the tightest briefs he could find and take a whole bottle of Viagra. The raging erection would be flexed up and down forcing the penny to rub against his long, smooth, rock hard shaft.

The moment had arrived. Down to the top two picks, the Bucks and the Cavaliers. No way they were going to get the #1 pick again. The card is revealed. The unholy concoction of wine and gold. Possibly the ugliest color combo in the world had just shown up. Not only was John going to have an erection for way longer than 4 hours, Tony La Russa had deceived him. He thought they were friends but realized he had just been taken for a ride and not just by the Uber driver.

It was absolutely enthralling, but I got a little lost when the penny masturbation started...Turned into some strange porn real quick. Could have been the Mallory factor which would have made sense to me...

Before I hit submit I had to go back and look and see if this was a story being told to children because I couldn't remember if it was and then I was like yep, there it is. Threw cocaine on the fire and told them it was magic dust. Then my next thought was these kids are imaginary and it's funny to me and I have a tendency to rush things and was afraid I was going to highlight too much and delete stuff I didn't want to delete so I did the Gunshow dog cartoon of this is fine and hit submit.

[Istanbullus]

Somewhere Hammy and his wife are kicking back with a glass of riesling, talking excitedly of the warm times ahead and waiting for removalists to start ringing them with offers.

You nailed it with the Riesling. I was thinking he was White Zin, but no, Riesling is even sweeter and more simple.

[paulpressey25]

Things sure have changed...I remember reading these boards a few years ago and many people wanted Hammond to go. Now it sounds like you'd like him to stay.

I'll always defend him against "bottom-5" criticisms and I think owners and coaches have meddled, but in no way am I against moving on from him. Just make sure you get someone better. He didn't seem to have mastered the nuances of the CBA, didn't negotiate well, didn't always seem to care about fit, and had a perplexing tendency to overload one or two positions every year, to the detriment of others. That alone will prevent them from taking the next step, but it doesn't make him a terrible gm. Drafting is the most important part of the job, and he nailed it. Wish he could stay as a consultant/scout.

This is the great thing for John. Weltman is the brains here and the CBA guy. Not necessarily a coincidence that Toronto did a bit better after he arrived there in June of 2013. He probably felt he needed to pay Hammond back after ripping him off on that Grievis trade so badly. Hammond can now be the scout in Orlando and he'll fit the role.

[paulpressey25]

The relationship soured when Hammond wasn't allowed to fire Kidd? I would have thought the relationship soured when Kidd was hired without Hammond knowing anything about it.

Might be true. That said Hammond's best strength was politics. He knew how to leak out just enough stuff to the right people to keep his power and influence.

[FlagsFlyForever]

Hard to not like either of our two rookies.

[worthlessBucks]

He could have said believing me and it still could have applied.

[trwi7]

The relationship soured when Hammond wasn't allowed to fire Kidd? I would have thought the relationship soured when Kidd was hired without Hammond knowing anything about it.

Might be true. That said Hammond's best strength was politics. He knew how to leak out just enough stuff to the right people to keep his power and influence.

Watch on YouTube

[GA34]

At least he drafted the Greek Freak. We can all be happy about that

[GHOSTofSIKMA]

When you literally waste $12 million in an offseason that could be used to improve your team, whether or not you can get out of it a year later, it's surely a bad contract that hindered your ability to build a competent team.

nah. thats a bad definition. guys that don't work out aren't bad contracts unless theyre immoveable. this board loved the shots we took this offseason. like **** LOVED it loved it besides plumlee who of course we moved. plumlee is a footnote. hes a guy we sniffed and now hes gone. that's all.

again.....the only bad deals are the ones you cant move if the guy takes a dump. you need to get your head around that.

You need to take into account the opportunity cost.... giving the money to Plumlee to suck for 3/4 of the season instead of a guy who could've helped.

no.. you really don't. we are talking about the definition of BAD contracts here. a BAD contract in the nba and 3/4 of a season don't go in the same sentence.

some contracts are great. some are good. some are meh..... but another team wants the contract to try for themselves. and then theres the bad ones. they cant all be great or good. sometimes you sign a guy and decide to trade him because he isn't working out. that isn't a bad contract. a bad contract is a guy like that which you cant trade and hes got a bunch of years left. that's Drew gooden.

[Pachinko_]

did anyone check if orlando wants a coach to go with their new gm?

[4xBuck]

no.. you really don't. we are talking about the definition of BAD contracts here. a BAD contract in the nba and 3/4 of a season don't go in the same sentence.

some contracts are great. some are good. some are meh..... but another team wants the contract to try for themselves. and then theres the bad ones. they cant all be great or good. sometimes you sign a guy and decide to trade him because he isn't working out. that isn't a bad contract. a bad contract is a guy like that which you cant trade and hes got a bunch of years left. that's Drew gooden.

You have a point...

Also, the contract was just an overpay of about $3M a year, which isn't a disaster. And, yes the contract cost the Bucks some money, but it didn't hurt them. It's not the NFL, the unused cap space wasn't going to rollover.

[buckboy]

Everyone who's celebrating this like it's automatically a good thing can **** off. You're clueless.

[freewhitemoon]

no.. you really don't. we are talking about the definition of BAD contracts here. a BAD contract in the nba and 3/4 of a season don't go in the same sentence.

some contracts are great. some are good. some are meh..... but another team wants the contract to try for themselves. and then theres the bad ones. they cant all be great or good. sometimes you sign a guy and decide to trade him because he isn't working out. that isn't a bad contract. a bad contract is a guy like that which you cant trade and hes got a bunch of years left. that's Drew gooden.

It'd be a "meh" contract if this was a guy who had a reasonable chance of being worth that money but underperformed. That's not Plumlee, we expected a flop and we got an even bigger stinker. Complete waste of time and resources with that contract = bad imo.

[Sigra]

New GM will trade eather Middleton or Parker because he will want to do something big right away.

[Max Green]

Dear John,

Says the guy who wouldn't stop posting about how the Bucks should sign Dwight Howard.

I could've put together 0 playoff series wins in 9 seasons if I was GM.

[coolhandluke121]

Any confirmation that Hammond wanted to fire Kidd and was overruled? Because if so, doesn't it confirm what some of us suspect about meddling? Not that we don't have plenty of evidence of that from both ownership regimes already, of course... and whatever meddling has been confirmed is surely only a subset of that which has occurred.

What makes it really disconcerting is not just the meddling, but the fact that they want to stick with Kidd when meddling. Let the new gm pick a coach.

[Gianstoppable]

Gery on the Fan, says he was told ownership will let Zanik make moves and has the potential to fire Kidd

[xTitan]

So take this for what it is worth, Woelfel just said that Zanik has negotiated that he has full control, can fire who he wants, including Kidd.....now Woelfel also said Kidd would remain the coach to start, but be on a very short leash.