It Is Now Officially Time to Part Ways With Ernie Grunfeld

[Ruzious]

I want a pony for Christmas.

[Illuminaire]

I have good news for you, Ruz. Ernie has been eyeing a Maltese for years now. She's a little undersized, and her best years of grazing were in the early 2010s. Last year she had bad luck with a club foot and a mite infestation, but the Wiz doctors assure us that she will make a full recovery and be ready for the farm season.

I know what you're thinking. "I said a pony." But some times, what you want isn't what you need. Or what Ted needs. And let's be real, what Ted needs is waaaay more important - he is worth many millions of dollars, which means he is millions of times more better and smarter than you. It's simple math.

So in his wisdom, Ted has chosen to get you a lame, elderly donkey. Ernie, ever the sincere and hard-working deal-maker, has managed to acquire this fine domesticated quadruped for nothing more than a future first, and draft rights to a Shetland we stashed in the European horse-show circuit.

You're going to love her, Ruz. She plays hard - I mean, she HAS to, with only three working legs. Even getting around the yard shows her maximum effort. You're even going to love the name Ernie gave her.

Boulez Morte. Has a nice ring, eh?

[leswizards]

I just checked the bulls and pelicans roster to make sure eg hadn’t gotten confused and traded for the wrong players.

[Ruzious]

I have good news for you, Ruz. Ernie has been eyeing a Maltese for years now. She's a little undersized, and her best years of grazing were in the early 2010s. Last year she had bad luck with a club foot and a mite infestation, but the Wiz doctors assure us that she will make a full recovery and be ready for the farm season.

I know what you're thinking. "I said a pony." But some times, what you want isn't what you need. Or what Ted needs. And let's be real, what Ted needs is waaaay more important - he is worth many millions of dollars, which means he is millions of times more better and smarter than you. It's simple math.

So in his wisdom, Ted has chosen to get you a lame, elderly donkey. Ernie, ever the sincere and hard-working deal-maker, has managed to acquire this fine domesticated quadruped for nothing more than a future first, and draft rights to a Shetland we stashed in the European horse-show circuit.

You're going to love her, Ruz. She plays hard - I mean, she HAS to, with only three working legs. Even getting around the yard shows her maximum effort. You're even going to love the name Ernie gave her.

Boulez Morte. Has a nice ring, eh?

Jeebus, all I asked for was a *** pony, and Ernie can't even do that! 4 legs Ernie - not 3 or 5... 4!

Lol Ill, thanks - I needed that. The lame elderly donkey line is a classic. Hilarious post.

[payitforward]

Ruz -- maybe you didn't notice? -- Christmas is over. No pony for you this year. But maybe you'll get it in the time before next Xmas.

As we all know "I want a pony" is code language for "Fire Ernie Grunfeld!"

[FAH1223]

End of season bump

Also this thread was made 3 years ago today.

[BarnabyJones]

Oh indeed