OT: Sticky Situation

MalikJoakim24 · Post #1 » by **MalikJoakim24** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:33 pm

Edit - I'm a US Citizen, my parents forced me to come here because they were scared of the us college lifestyle.

Update- My family friend is the dentist school principal, on our campus we have many other schools like nursing, pharmacy, etc.. Our family friend said she understands what I'm going through and old enough to make my own decisions, and will tell this to my to my parents. God willing, I'm out here by Easter.

I'm in a med school overseas in the Gulf, I don't want to post it publicly because they could find it.

Long story short, I'm at a place where I can't use phones, laptops, or any electronic devices because its against the rules. I and everyone here still use one because you'd go insane without using one. The college doesn't have any power outlets in the dorm rooms but I have a water heater and just use that outlet to charge. Some other things are you are not allowed to talk to girls and we can only leave the campus once a month. The Institute has so many check points/posts & guards its impossible to escape.

Due to these rules, I've been really down on life (feeling like suicide) what's been keeping me up are some great members from this board (you know who you are, and I can't thank you enough for all you have done/doing for me) who I've talked to. The college really acts like a high security prison and its like I'm paying for all my past and future sins here.

I've contacted the US embassy and awaiting their email. I just don't understand why my father is keeping me hostage here.

Sorry to lay this on you all now and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The worst thing is I haven't seen a Bulls game this whole year.

PS - Stick stickity

Axl Rose · Post #2 » by **Axl Rose** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:38 pm

thats sounds worse than a prison

Post #3 » by **HomoSapien** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:49 pm

Sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. As hard as it seems, remember that it's absolutely not worth taking your life over. You can survive at this place, and you need to till you can return home. I know not being able to talk to girls and spend time online is tough, but try to spin this in a positive as best as you can. Use the time to focus on your studies and really learn. Use the extra hours that you'd normally use on RealGM to workout. Find something positive to help replace those negative thoughts.

You're obviously really young. If you think losing a year looks bad, then imagine how tragic losing a lifetime would be.

LoveDaBoo · Post #4 » by **LoveDaBoo** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:01 pm

Honestly, this is one of the most bizarre things I've ever hear of.

Cowbulls · Post #5 » by **Cowbulls** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:03 pm

Start up a hobby. Learn how to chip rocks into figurines. Start doing all the book keeping for the school, taxes and such.Befriend other inmat....classmates tell them where you would go if you got out. Maybe you wanna sail the seas? Once you're bored chipping rocks, do something bigger...chip away at your wall. Get a poster to cover up your masterpiece. Have faith brotha.

Homosapien said it best, its one year, and one year is nothing on the scale of things. It will be over soon and you will be happy once it is.

Judrix · Post #6 » by **Judrix** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:09 pm

Leave the place as soon as you are able. There's absolutely no point in wasting away being miserable when there are alternative things you can be doing in which you enjoy. The trouble with this is that there is often family or some kind of outside pressure to be doing something a certain way. This is where it gets hard to simply stop doing the thing you hate and just leave. In the end, you live for yourself. You do what's best for you in almost every situation, unless a selfish decision can be harmful to others...this being a case where nobody is harmed by your decision to leave.

dice · Post #7 » by **dice** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:14 pm

are you planning on practicing medicine in the states? if so, is the school you're at even accredited?

Al Swearengen · Post #8 » by **Al Swearengen** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:15 pm

A crisis for me: They put too much foam in my latte.

A "sticky situation" for this guy: Being held against your will in what is essentially a prison with less stuff to do.

Question, do they even make underwear that can support solid brass balls like yours?

Keller61 · Post #9 » by **Keller61** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:28 pm

I would say to remember that this is YOUR life. You are not required to meet anyone else's expectations, not even your family's. If you decide that med school is not for you, that is perfectly OK. There is always something else out there for you.

There is so much to enjoy in life. Do not stake it all on one particular goal.

MalikJoakim24 · Post #10 » by **MalikJoakim24** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:53 pm

Cowbulls wrote:Start up a hobby. Learn how to chip rocks into figurines. Start doing all the book keeping for the school, taxes and such.Befriend other inmat....classmates tell them where you would go if you got out. Maybe you wanna sail the seas? Once you're bored chipping rocks, do something bigger...chip away at your wall. Get a poster to cover up your masterpiece. Have faith brotha.

Homosapien said it best, its one year, and one year is nothing on the scale of things. It will be over soon and you will be happy once it is.

Don't worry, I got a MJ poster hanging here on the wall.

Judrix wrote:Leave the place as soon as you are able. There's absolutely no point in wasting away being miserable when there are alternative things you can be doing in which you enjoy. The trouble with this is that there is often family or some kind of outside pressure to be doing something a certain way. This is where it gets hard to simply stop doing the thing you hate and just leave. In the end, you live for yourself. You do what's best for you in almost every situation, unless a selfish decision can be harmful to others...this being a case where nobody is harmed by your decision to leave.

Yeah I've gotten numerous advice from family & friends that I should be happy foremost and they've noticed that I'm no longer talking (I talk a lot), sad, and I lost around 10-15lbs in weight since coming here, even became pale.

dice wrote:are you planning on practicing medicine in the states? if so, is the school you're at even accredited?

Yes or petroleum engineering. I'm thinking the latter, always been interested and the pay is good.

Al Swearengen wrote:A crisis for me: They put too much foam in my latte.

A "sticky situation" for this guy: Being held against your will in what is essentially a prison with less stuff to do.

Question, do they even make underwear that can support solid brass balls like yours?

Thanks for giving me a great laugh, can't stop laughing now haha.

Keller61 wrote:I would say to remember that this is YOUR life. You are not required to meet anyone else's expectations, not even your family's. If you decide that med school is not for you, that is perfectly OK. There is always something else out there for you.

There is so much to enjoy in life. Do not stake it all on one particular goal.

I've told them that but they dont realize its my life.

Thanks everyone for the advice and the great laughs

mj234eva · Post #11 » by **mj234eva** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:58 pm

AirGordon7 wrote:thats sounds worse than a prison

No, no it doesn't.

SimonFish · Post #12 » by **SimonFish** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:02 pm

Is the OP studying in North Korea?

MalikJoakim24 · Post #13 » by **MalikJoakim24** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:07 pm

SimonFish wrote:Is the OP studying in North Korea?

NK seems better than to wear I'm studying, at least Marijuana is legal there :lol:

Post #14 » by **DuckIII** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:08 pm

I think Homo's post sums it up the way I would. This is a temporary problem that will be overcome in a finite amount of time.

TheSuzerain · Post #15 » by **TheSuzerain** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:10 pm

Can we please get a country. This is intriguing.

And you should read a lot.

cubbiefan009 · Post #16 » by **cubbiefan009** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:29 pm

Damn dude, that sucks. No electronics? Can't talk to the opposite sex? Leave campus once a month? How do they know when you leave?

RastaBull · Post #17 » by **RastaBull** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:37 pm

I share the same perspective as Homo and Duck. There will be an end to this experience if you work through it. And you will be the better for it, in more ways than one.

First, there is an academic reason you're there...is the content taught well and are you doing well in your courses? Like other have said/joked, find a hobby or take up some creative outlet so that the emotional weight your feeling doesn't disrupt the academic pursuit.

Second, the uncomfortable and challenging experiences teach us a lot about ourselves: what we want out of life, what we care most about, possibly how we view larger issues globally or just within our career choice. Those revelations will be something you will carry with you wherever you go next in life. It will provide you an advantage over competition in certain circumstance because it will have given you a more nuanced perspective.

For instance, on a MUCH less emotionally straining level: a friend is a science journalist. After college they had a internship with Science Magazine and LOVED it. But their next full time science communications at the EPA and they HATED it...hated the bureaucracy, hated the lack of creativity, hated the inefficiency. They toughed it out for a full year and then ended up in a top master's program in the nation. A big part of that was because of whenever talking about their background they could bring up this poor experience they had and touch on all the things it taught them about what science journalism means to them.

Not sure if that analogy made much sense, and obviously your situation is really draining you emotionally and on a whole 'nohter level. I hope you are able to continue your studies, but most importantly I hope you keep healthy and find some balance in what is a tough time.

One love buddy.

TheEndIsNigh · Post #18 » by **TheEndIsNigh** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:41 pm

I dont have time to post anything elaborate but please don't follow through with suicidal thoughts. Things will get better, but it sounds like it will take time. Work on finding a coping mechanism that helps provide some degree of relief.

johnnyvann840 · Post #19 » by **johnnyvann840** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:42 pm

RastaBull wrote:I share the same perspective as Homo and Duck. There will be an end to this experience if you work through it. And you will be the better for it, in more ways than one.

First, there is an academic reason you're there...is the content taught well and are you doing well in your courses? Like other have said/joked, find a hobby or take up some creative outlet so that the emotional weight your feeling doesn't disrupt the academic pursuit.

Second, the uncomfortable and challenging experiences teach us a lot about ourselves: what we want out of life, what we care most about, possibly how we view larger issues globally or just within our career choice. Those revelations will be something you will carry with you wherever you go next in life. It will provide you an advantage over competition in certain circumstance because it will have given you a more nuanced perspective.

For instance, on a MUCH less emotionally straining level: a friend is a science journalist. After college they had a internship with Science Magazine and LOVED it. But their next full time science communications at the EPA and they HATED it...hated the bureaucracy, hated the lack of creativity, hated the inefficiency. They toughed it out for a full year and then ended up in a top master's program in the nation. A big part of that was because of whenever talking about their background they could bring up this poor experience they had and touch on all the things it taught them about what science journalism means to them.

Not sure if that analogy made much sense, and obviously your situation is really draining you emotionally and on a whole 'nohter level. I hope you are able to continue your studies, but most importantly I hope you keep healthy and find some balance in what is a tough time.

One love buddy.

Listen to this man.

I'll just add that going through life's troubles make the triumphs a million times sweeter. You are going to get through this and as much as it sucks, it will make you a better man.

bentheredengthat · Post #20 » by **bentheredengthat** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:48 pm

MnM24 wrote:I'm in a med school overseas, I don't want to post it publicly because they could find it.

Long story short, I'm at a place where I can't use phones, laptops, or any electronic devices because its against the rules. I and everyone here still use one because you'd go insane without using one. The college doesn't have any power outlets in the dorm rooms but I have a water heater and just use that outlet to charge. Some other things are you are not allowed to talk to girls and we can only leave the campus once a month. The Institute has so many check points/posts & guards its impossible to escape.

PS - Stick stickity

When I was your age (I'm assuming you are young/ college age) I stayed at a religion based college for 3 years due to friends & family pressure. It was a big mistake. One of my friends was 30 miles away studying engineering - what I wanted to do.

The pressure & ridiculous nature of the college (I can relate to some of the things you are saying about your college) finally made me crack under the pressure & I made several mistakes that I spent the next 15 years paying for (nothing criminal, just stupidity).

Do not worry about losing a semester or even a year. With all respect to your family, you need to make an intelligent, informed, and responsible decision based on your own set of values.

If your decision is to leave, do it in a responsible and respectful manner.

Keep your head up. Things can change in a hurry. You just have to take one step at a time in the direction you want to go.

Stick stickity indeed. 8-)