OT- My brother in a crisis

Daaaarryyl · Post #1 » by **Daaaarryyl** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:58 pm

I don't start a lot of threads but felt I may get some help here-

My brother's girl (common wife) left him and took their 2 daughters without any notice back in December 2007. She took them about 200 miles away and had our family in a shambles.

Since then he's hired a lawyer who required a $10,000 retainer. There has been no progress whatsoever in the past year which irked all of us. They also informed my brother that he was in a non winnable battle even though-

His daughters cry for him and want to live with him

He has been an incredible dad and loves his daughters

He works an unreal amount of hours to provide for them

She (the ex) never seemed to even want kids

She never showed nearly the amount of love or parenting ability as him

She never worked nor has any academic pedigree and is currently on welfare

My family owns a large house in an ideal neighborhood to raise children while she is in a slum in upstate NY (according to many many people)

Now the firm has asked for an additional $7,500 to retain the lead lawyer or $3,500 to retain for a newbie

That's insane and criminal IMHO

All he wants is his daughters and he does not have that kind of money.

We're all in chaos..

Any help/advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance

GurBurkEm · Post #2 » by **GurBurkEm** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:03 pm

Yo man sorry to hear that, it will work out karma is a b itch. I would go to yahoo answer and post in there law and legal section, see if you can get a professional answer.

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index;_ylt ... 2115500193

Good luck man stay strong.

Red Vines · Post #3 » by **Red Vines** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:04 pm

What does he want, sole custody? That probably won't happen since taking kids away from their mother is a last resort. But if he wants some kind of joint custody that should be mandatory since he is the biological father and there is no reason to keep him away.

NYKnick87 · Post #4 » by **NYKnick87** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:33 pm

I've always thought lawyers should work on a contingent fee basis. If what you said is indeed true, then look for another lawyer. Lawyers are not created equal - do some searching until you find the right one.

MAQ · Post #5 » by **MAQ** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:40 pm

try posting on the general off topic board...there has to be at least 1 lawyer on realgm with humor enough to post there

too bad you dont post on the bulls forum, there a tons of lawyers crawling their way around their...maybe there are a couple around here...

either way bro, that's **** and i hope all gets worked out

Post #6 » by **duetta** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:42 pm

Isn't BasicBall a lawyer?

Assassin_1 · Post #7 » by **Assassin_1** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:46 pm

Well he should get a Lawyer too, but can he? All he can do now is try and get the money charges dropped and from what I've heard the mother is on welfare so she might not be able to provide for his girls and they might come back to him.

Post #8 » by **knicks742** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:51 pm

duetta wrote:Isn't BasicBall a lawyer?

Yes but I don't think taking legal advice is the best idea!!!!

MAQ · Post #9 » by **MAQ** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:55 pm

i doubt your thread on the bulls board stays open...they've been kind of hard nose on off topic threads recently

and be prepared for a lot of immature responses on the off topic board

Post #10 » by **Luv those Knicks** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:00 pm

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. It's a legal matter and legal is expensive. Finding the right lawyer is key. There's lots of bad legal advice out there. Does your brother belong to a church group, where he might ask for a lawyer through a large organization, or some kind of cheap legal help - Legal Aide, ACLU - (I'm just throwing ideas out there), even a parent's rights group. It's a tough situation, but talk to as many people as you can and try to find the best legal advice that you can.

I'd also post it on the Off Topic board. There are some intelligent posters who hand out there.

rrosario35 · Post #11 » by **rrosario35** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:07 pm

i'm in a nutty situation myself, im not tha baby daddy thing but courts wont give me a dna test... wtf...

anywho, my aunt led me to this site, i'll be going through it aggressively in the next week or so.

http://fatherhood.org/

Post #12 » by **kane2021** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:54 pm

The worst part about this my man, is that most states are woman states when it comes to family issues. They see that the mother is most fit. And that the man, no matter how clean, has the potential to fail. Its messed up because I have seen this type of issue with friends before. And while the woman has her hand out looking for financial help, in court against the man, the mans lawyer has his hand out looking for more money in a attempt to make it cheaper. The legal system is one of the most flawed systems. The system just doesn't have the time to view each case as 1. They read the lines and choose a cookie cutter resolution. This is only my opinion based on what I have seen and went through. Before you, him, or your family start looking to raise money, you need to ask yourself, what progress has the money invested, returned? And what is your realistic goal? Because the last thing your family needs is to go broke trying to reach a agreement with a party that already has the power of outcome on there side. Then that is 2 painful issues that will linger for a long time. I saw a suggestion from a post here about reaching out to a origination (such as a church) for help. You need someone with experience and a heart to your situation. But doesnt get any benefit from the situation. (money) Gather as many good opinions as you can. Come up with a realistic goal and execute it. I myself am going trough some things like many others these days. I have been a visitor of this board sense 2001. But only registered a few month ago. Its a way to get away without going away. And I fully understand your stress. And I wish you and your family luck with it. Be realistic, and strong. Because its going to be your strength and wisdom that get you guys through this. Keep your head high and good luck.

TB#1 · Post #13 » by **TB#1** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:23 pm

NYKnick87 wrote:I've always thought lawyers should work on a contingent fee basis. If what you said is indeed true, then look for another lawyer. Lawyers are not created equal - do some searching until you find the right one.

You can't really work on contingency in a custody dispute. If you are just determining custody rights, there is no money settlement or money verdict to divvy up.

Contingency agreements in a lot of areas of domestic relations can be sticky, at least in Illinois and Florida where I have some knowledge of the applicable rules and laws. Not certain about NY, but I imagine the ethics difficulties are similar.

Daaaarryyl, check out my comments on the thread you started on the Chicago board regarding your mention of common law marriage.

I also posted some father's rights links that may be useful to you and your brother. Most of them are focused on NY.