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Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh

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Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#1 » by Webstersweb » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:24 pm

Didn't see it posted before. thought it was kinda amusing.

NEW YORK—Star of American basketball games Chris Bosh became one of the world's most indebted-to-China people Monday after signing a six-year contract with the New York Knicks worth approximately $150 million weakening US dollars, or what will amount to negative 200 billion yuan in 25 years. "I'm excited to be a part of the team," said the foolish Bosh, evidently unaware of how his unwise move will cause generations of his descendants to be practically enslaved to China in order to pay off the debt he has taken on. "Let's go, New York, baby." China's profits are expected to rise as gluttonous American consumers buy Chinese-made shoes and jerseys endorsed by Bosh.鱼


http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/star_athlete_signs_contract
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#2 » by Webstersweb » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:26 pm

has a couple of other basketball related articles.
some of them are hilarious.
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#3 » by Flashy_Lights » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:27 pm

WTF??????????????? :oops:


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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#4 » by DG88 » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:28 pm

:lol:
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#5 » by garbage time » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:49 pm

lmfao
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#6 » by kungriffey » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:49 pm

lol...good for a laugh :lol:
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#7 » by beyondraptor » Fri Aug 7, 2009 5:53 pm

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51320

TORONTO—Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo announced Friday that his team had signed 6-foot-11 Slovenian forward Uros Slokar, a man Colangelo called "very tall, especially when you consider the height of a normal human being." "The average height of a Canadian male is 5 feet 10 inches, and as you can see, Uros far exceeds that," an excited Colangelo said. "I think Uros will fit right in with the other uncommonly tall men we have on our team." Colangelo added that exceptional height is the main, and sometimes only, quality he looks for in his basketball players.


Oldie but Goody lol BC
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#8 » by Webstersweb » Fri Aug 7, 2009 6:01 pm

Knicks Fast Break Takes Two-And-A-Half Minutes
ATLANTA—A New York Knicks fast break which began with 8:34 remaining in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game against the Atlanta Hawks ended approximately two-and-a-half minutes later on a missed lay-up by shooting guard Jamal Crawford. The typically fast-paced basketball play, which began to take shape when a rebounding David Lee took 45 seconds to figure out which of his teammates would receive the outlet pass, was, according to Knicks coach Isiah Thomas, "A real sign of improvement." "Yes, it was a bit discouraging when we had to start the play over again because Nate [Robinson] forgot he was the point guard and just ran away from the ball, but after we all got on the same page, and when Quentin [Richardson] remembered that Jamal, not him, cuts to the hoop and then flashes ball side, I think we ended up running a pretty decent break," Thomas said in a post-game press conference. "Just because we ultimately had to carefully walk through it in order to get it right doesn't make it less effective." Thomas was not fired following the game.


Not about the Raps but I thought it was hilarious nonetheless
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#9 » by vjkid » Fri Aug 7, 2009 6:20 pm

This was posted before
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#10 » by The Stripe » Fri Aug 7, 2009 6:30 pm

My favorite ball related onion write up is this: "Kobe Bryant Proves He Can Win Championship With Luke Walton On Team"

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/ko ... he_can_win
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#11 » by The Flying Gent » Fri Aug 7, 2009 6:32 pm

So that onion is still doing that whole "bought by China" thing?
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#12 » by Webstersweb » Fri Aug 7, 2009 7:06 pm

I guess so.
just recently started looking into the Onion so wouldnt know
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#13 » by beno » Fri Aug 7, 2009 7:45 pm

Dangerously Dan wrote:So that onion is still doing that whole "bought by China" thing?

They stopped buying 5 year securities. It means that the dollar will plunge soon.
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Re: Kinda OT-Onion news article on Bosh 

Post#14 » by Ari_Emanuel » Fri Aug 7, 2009 8:49 pm

beno wrote:
Dangerously Dan wrote:So that onion is still doing that whole "bought by China" thing?

They stopped buying 5 year securities. It means that the dollar will plunge soon.


Yup. People should really tune into the Business News Network (at minimum) if you aren't a finance professional already. You'll learn alot.


The Chinese are concerned about the US defaulting on their government debt that they are issuing and they are also realizing that they should be funding their own government expenditures rather than the American's. When you stop buying US debt securities, you are helping to reduce the demand for the US dollar.
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