The Yawn revealed and the Hiccups ended

[JasonJacobHunt]

How to Heal the Hiccups
Take a deep breath and hold it in. Then open your mouth and swallow air in gulps without letting any air out of your lungs. Breathe in 5-8 gulps of air and swallow them into your lungs. It might not work if you are younger because your lungs don’t have as much capacity. Then hold your breath for about 30 seconds and your hiccups will be gone! Do not do this exercise if you are light headed or out of breath. It helps to lay down. Do not do it unless you breathe consistently and fully for 3 minutes before.
The Yawn Revealed
When you Yawn at the peak of the yawn flex your neck and the Yawn will move into the neck. Then flex your stomach and the Yawn will move into your stomach. Then it will flow into your whole body. Then stretch and flex. Afterwards you will probably Yawn again and then you can do it again!

The Itch Controlled
When you have an itch, hold it. What I mean by holding is you hold it in the same place that it is at. Not with your hands but you hold it with the body part that is itching. Then it won’t itch. This is so it will not annoy you if you are in a position that is hard to itch it such as trying to go to sleep. Then to scratch the itch you pinch it with your fingernails!
SMOKING ENDED
When you read each sentence think about each sentence and think about when you smoke. Why do I need to smoke? Because it is who I am. Why do I need smoking? Because it’s not my life that I’m controlling it is my past life that’s controlling me. I smoke to live. I smoke a lot so that I can be freedom. It makes you happy for a little bit and then makes you unhappy. I neeed a smoking time and break. And then I need to eat smoking? Never. Smoking is my partner. I need to crave smoking. If I smoke do I feel like I’m new? It feels satisfying to breathe in smoke. The smoke you breathe in feels like it heals you. (it doesn’t actually heal you it can give you cancer.) And makes you feel relaxing, dark, and whole. You think it makes you more manly or womanly. You think it purifies you but it sickens you. You think it makes you feel younger. It is another part of you (not really it’s just a figure of speech.) When I need to smoke do I feel happy? It is not real happiness. And you think when you smoke, “ I’M SMOKING! I’M SMOKING! I’M SMOKING! I’M SMOKING! I’M SMOKING! This sentence is not true but it completes You! Smoking makes you like life more! I’m relaxing when I smoke and I’m pleasurable! And I am left. (hold out your left hand to know what I mean.) And you think you have healing in your body. It’s a mouth pleasure. Smoking makes you want to smoke again! All the time before smoking, during smoking, after smoking, and when you’re not smoking you feel like a new whole person. This sentence is not true but you breathe in happiness. I am not myself without cigarettes. Breathe in smoke breathe out smoke. This sentence is not true but, it completes you and makes you whole and relaxing. When you cough up food and phlegm it makes you feel stronger and satisfied and makes you remember smoking. After you smoke you say, “I feel full now like when you eat.” And you say I feel like myself again. You think smoking is who you are. When you need to smoke again you feel satisfying. Quitting smoking makes you believe you’ll be lonely but it is not true loneliness. This sentence is not true but smoking is your friend. When you see or feel you cigarettes and lighter you feel undying joy and addiction. You think it’s who you are. It is the most pleasurable time of your day. You think it brings you joy. But it is false joy. You think from smoking that breathing in smoke is better than breathing in normal air. Tobacco is a drug. It makes you high! When you smoke after a long break it makes you more high! And then you think I need them (cigarettes). But why? For relaxation pleasure. It’s an oral fixation. But I breathe in goodness. I am less of a person without it. When you smoke you feel cooler and sophisticated and eloquent. When you take a hit and breathe it out it is satisfying. And when you put out your cigarette it completes your experience. So now you decide to quit and then you decide to stop smoking and you live the same way your still living as if smoking is who you are. Smoking feels like it is the right thing to do but it tars your lungs and makes you weak and pollutes your body and changes your voice. It makes you high and can give you cancer. This is it! Smoking makes you HIGH. This is why people like it. You think smoking completes yourself. You think you are weak and needy without them but the truth is you’re stronger and calm without them. You think I get so high when I smoke! You think it fills up your body with relaxation! It feels relaxing to breathe in and out smoke. It feels pleasurable and fills you up like food and water and this is not true but completes you. You think your life will be nothing without smoking. But the truth is when you stop smoking it will heal you and give you more confidence and free your life and you will be calm when you quit. So now you imagine yourself smoking again. Right when you imagine yourself smoking again read this entire document. Every time you think of smoking read it. Smoking makes you disgusting and makes your fingers smoky and dirty so you have to wash your hands so you won’t be smoky. So now we have quit smoking! It is over! You have to exert all of your energy and willpower to quit. Do not give in to the urges and anxiety and irritations.

SCHIZOPHRENIA DESTROYED
I’m not certain this will work but I need to say it.
VOICES
Call out to all of your voices and say, “HEEEEYY, ALL OF YOU, WHERE ARE YOU?!” Repeat it. This will give you about 15 minutes of freedom. Then when they come, back say enthusiastically “How have you been?” They will say something ruthless like “I want to beat you up and I hate you!” Then say “Where do you go?” And they will be gone again! Then when they come back tell them “I want you to stay in my mind forever!” Then say “Why don’t you hurt me?” “Are you a lesbian?” Then say, “ I want to give Me a job.” Then say “Will you work with me?” Then start working on something, anything and then visit with them while working and then eat them and say “ I have eaten you now you are dead!” Now you are healed! Now everyone must know that everyone with schizophrenia is a normal person. They must be released from the hospitals. The must be freed from their psychiatrists because now they are healed. Millions of people are forced to take medicine and see a psychiatrist or else they will go to the hospital! They have done nothing wrong. How could a medication delete the voices? How could a mathematical formula of the medicine match up with the mathematical formula of the voices? How could medicine be a cure when it is chemicals and they are a voice? Therefore everyone must be freed from their doctors who control their life along with parents who control their life with their doctors. They have not broken the law. So why are they forced to go to the hospital? Because they talk to themselves and they do not do anything against the law. Their medication makes them tired and sluggish! It does not heal their voices. It makes them undyingly deadened. So when they go to the hospital they are in jail and they cannot do anything to leave. They have not broken the law! So why can they go to jail (the hospital) for being schizophrenic? I therefore declare that every person with schizophrenia must be freed from the hospital and from their doctors and then it’s not even in the law to take medicine for illnesses. Why are people who have illnesses not forced to go to the hospital? The doctors don’t even know if they have voices. So why don’t we make it in the law to take medicine because if you do something weird like wearing thermals and talking to yourself and saying things that aren’t true then you can be diagnosed with schizophrenia! Is it against the law to do any of these things? It is not. But you can be forced to take medication that makes you tired and deadened and see a doctor who can send you to the hospital for being angry and behaving weird, and if you don’t take medication that makes you not yourself and tired and sluggish and drugged up, then the doctor controls you forever for not even breaking the law. Even then people think they tried to commit suicide but it is not against the law to commit suicide. Only if you have schizophrenia and then you must be insane to send them to the hospital for more than a month. Even the state hospitals are worse than anything. If you stop taking your medicine and you haven’t broken the law you are forced to go to jail (the hospital). The reason people actually think schizophrenia is insanity is because they believe that the voices are real. They believe that they are receiving revelation from people that they hear in life or they believe that they are God because the voices tell them insane things like we are in life and we are godly and we are telling you that you are godliness. And they believe that they are God and this is when telepathy comes in. They believe that they are real people. All you have to do is say “Are you a person? And then say prove it. Say something like what is 117 X 503? Then say, “What is the 13th president of The United States of America?” Then say, “What is the definition of dictionary words?” Then ask them to talk about their life and do not help them speak with your mind. Now the schizophrenia is healed.

Sex, Raw food, and Exercising is Eternal Life

If you have sex three times a day and eat a full diet of organic raw food and exercise enough then you will stop aging. This is truth. Sex makes it so you won’t age.
I Jason Jacob Hunt am the Savior of Eternal Life and of Jesus Christ because Eternal Life is Jesus Christ’s gift. Because I masturbated in classrooms when I was 14 and 15 years old. And I saved Eternal Life and Jesus Christ because nobody would have known who had Eternal Life first. Also because we don’t know if the government gave Eternal Life to Us. And because no one knew about Eternal Life. I did not take my clothing off. I masturbated through my jeans. And I am not Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is unreal in life. He can do anything. So if no one brought Eternal Life everyone would think Jesus Christ was on the earth. I masturbated in classrooms to preserve Eternal Life. I saved Eternal Life because no one else had Eternal Life. I knew it was Eternal Life because I masturbated in the bathroom and knew it was Eternal Life. I saved Eternal Life because nobody knew it was Eternal Life. I masturbated in classrooms to save Eternal Life and it told everyone it was Eternal Life and I was the first one to have it. And I am not a prophet. I am not Mormon. I don’t believe in the Church. They are too strict. But they are a good people. And I left my mission early. I did not like my mission even a little bit. Since I masturbated in school I have been blackmailed because of it 7 times. And I hate my parents. I will not do any interviews. There is going to be a time of peace sooner than you think. The government knows about Eternal Life.

By Jason Jacob Hunt
I am 23 years old and live in Brigham City, Utah. I had to make the title about hiccups and the yawn to get peoples attention. Eternal Life is real!

[StocktonShorts]

W T F

[Dr Positivity]

In b4 the WTF gifs

[carbine23]

Thanks for all the info though. THAT **** CRAY

[Nexx]

When I read the title of this thread it made me yawn. ARGHHHHHHH

[mid-post]

Why my boyfriend not let me wear this?

Seriously though, the fact that you mention healing schizophrenia in that wall of dung isn't a coincidence.

[Jeremy Lin 7]

Off topic board that way ----------------->

[hijacktheparade]

Strangest spam I've seen in a while.

[shijizuo]

W T F

They are too strict. But they are a good people. And I left my mission early.
I did not like my mission even a little bit. Since I masturbated in school I have been blackmailed because of it 7 times. And I hate my parents. I will not do any interviews. There is going to be a time of peace sooner than you think. The government knows about Eternal Life

[sir G Wallace]

Its the wort when you are almost a few paragraphs into a spammer's post trying to make sense only to figure out that it is spam

[Fast Dont Fib]

Cocaines a helluva drug

[Baddy Chuck]

Eternal life? And all we have to do is drink the kool-aid?! Sign me up!

[irie]

W T F

They are too strict. But they are a good people. And I left my mission early.
I did not like my mission even a little bit. Since I masturbated in school I have been blackmailed because of it 7 times. And I hate my parents. I will not do any interviews. There is going to be a time of peace sooner than you think. The government knows about Eternal Life

what the...?

[TripleC]

Um.. why isn't this locked yet? o_O? .

[ninjabelly]

[BlockedbyEwing]

W T F

They are too strict. But they are a good people. And I left my mission early.
I did not like my mission even a little bit. Since I masturbated in school I have been blackmailed because of it 7 times. And I hate my parents. I will not do any interviews. There is going to be a time of peace sooner than you think. The government knows about Eternal Life

what the...?

Actually, I ran cross-country for a while back in high school. That was, until my hamstring injury. I think it was due to all that chocolate syrup I kept in the fridge. Should've cleaned it up but Mr. Racoon was making me babysit his hamster eggs. They were shipped straight from Jamaica. In fact, they were one owned by Meryl Streep. Talk about a headache. Pornography used to be my go-to career choice but I ended up going to school and getting my degree in print advertising. Asprin doesn't work for me, instead I use bacon bits. And that's how I fell in love with Skittles.