The studio hired me to do a tiny rewrite.
HKPackFan wrote:So maybe it went down like this.
During late morning practice...
Kidd: nononono! Run it again!
Brogdon: "ummm..... Coach Kidd sir..... I know we've been practicing the down by 3 with 2 seconds left, force a pass to Kris, let him take a contested off balance 3ptr, play for the past 3+ years, but I've been talking to the analytics guys and they said tracking it, the play has a 19.7% chance of success, and honestly, the whole league knows its coming, can't we practice something else besides this?"
Kidd: wtf are you talking to those God damn nerds for! They've never played bball, have they? I'm sure **** hall of famer, they can shove those pencils up their ass! Just because u went to school and got a bachelor's degree you think you know everything Poindexter?!"
Brogdon: "actually it's a masters degree."
Kidd: "**** YOU MAN! YOU PIECE OF ****! GO **** YOURSELF!"
Vaughn: "Jabari man, I'm going to FaceTime you in, Kidd's **** lost his ****."
Kidd: mother ****! Who do you think you are? The president!? You **** athletically limited little bitch!
Jabari: "woah. That's why I never talk to him, he's such a goddamn a hole."
Vaughn chuckles.
Kidd: wtf are you smiling at, Vaughn! You are the biggest mistake I ever made convincing them to draft you! Good luck ever seeing the court again! You will not be leaving that bench anytime soon!"
Kilpatrick: damn coach, chill he's just a kid.
Kidd: WHAT THE **** YOU SAY!? YOU MOTHER ****! GET OUT, YOU ARE DONE! YOU ARE OFF THE TEAM! I'M DONE WITH YOU! IN FACT, GOOD LUCK EVER SEEING THE FLOOR EVER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! I WILL CALL EVERY TEAM, EVERY COACH, EVERY GM, EVERY OWNER AND MAKE SURE NO ONE EVER PICKS YOU UP! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?
Snell: Come on, fellows. Let's all take a breather. I know things are tough right now but golly-gee, together we can lift each other off the floor and reach new heights!
Kidd: **** you too, Tony. How many chances have I given you? I even give you backup minutes at the five.
Snell: For the last time that's not me, coach. That's Thon.
Kidd: Well you **** look alike to me. Stop lookin alike.
Thon: That is preposterous! Anyone willing to take the time to offer even a cursory passing glance at our physiques could discern-
Kidd: Hey, black Frasier Crane. Shut the **** up and go to high school again-again. Bitch ass ****.
Vaughn chuckles.
Horst: feign! This is urgent. Kidd's gone ****. He's lost it, we can't wait any longer.
Feign: alright, just lets just meet him for lunch, we will calm him down, we cant fire him a few hours before a game, call me back, set up a lunch the 3 of us will go.
Later at lunch......
Kidd: you need to understand, that if you say pizza you're not understanding that to really understand pizza it's new York style thin crust is actually pizza, it's important to understand that pizza is not understanding pizza unless it's new York, understand?
Horst: listen, Kidd that kind of outburst at practice, can't be tolerated, you can't blow up like that.
Kidd: **** you gumby! Pass me a garlic bread roll biiiyaatch!
Feign: Kidd, wtf!
Kidd: this place is bull. Look at our server, she's too young, doesn't get what she needs to do, there's no effort or energy there, this place sucks! Don't you tell me ****, do you know who I am!?
Later after lunch.
Horst: guys, kidd gone bat **** crazy. We need to fire him now. This can't wait.
Feign : Ya, he's out of his **** mind.
Lasry/Edens: ok do it, but tell Giannis now.
After Giannis gets the news:
Giannis: coach Kidd! Noooooooooo! You were supposed to take me to the mountain top. You were my Mr. Miyagi!
Kidd: yes my little grasshopper, everything you learned, is because of me. Tell the truth to the world and let them know I created you, I made you who you are today. Because I am the trainer of trainers, the master of masters, the great all knowing Jason Kidd. Maybe one day little grasshopper, may we meet again, but hopefully I have blessed you with enough of my knowledge and my training that you may become something more one day. Good luck grasshopper I knew this was coming, I had forseen it, because I see all and I know all. Goodbye.